The Unresolved Dilemma

6.

12th March,2015
11.00 pm

This was the day I longed for. My wait was finally over. I got names of the persons who conspired against me. The two unanswered events took place with me . The one involving the sadist act and other of the naked run in bathroom.

The events had a big impact in my life. My best friends also made fun of me on regular basis,even if I wasn't feeling good. My professors used to mock me . So I was never able to forget the events. And I was always in search for the culprit. I wanted to punish them very hard . But I never got a clue until today.

Me and Aksh were just having leisure walk alongside the garden . Aksh was in stress as our board exams were about to start. I too had stress but I usually won't show. I would act happy and cheerful. That's just my way of hiding the emotion or better to say,overcoming the emotion. We both were talking about our studies, how much stress we had and what will we do after the exams. We started making some future plans about which trips we will make,with whom will we make it,how many girls we shall hit on and other stuffs.

As the night become more dark, our talks took a change of pace and direction. We somehow ended up discussing about love and friendship. The first thing that hit me was my first kiss with Tanishka. How our friendly love,is what we called it, had evolved and how we both used to balance it and how efficiently we hid it from Aksh. Ironically,we were together like this for only a week and we already started thinking Aksh as the third wheel.

We both started a discussion on love and friendship. And it somehow mentioned Tanishka and both of our cheeks had a rush of blood. I blushed ,that was acceptable but Aksh also blushed. Why? Is Tanishka was cheating on me? Didn't she love me? Did our kiss meant anything? Aksh disturbed me and shook me hard , this is what I thought would have happened,and I was conscious in discussion again.

Aksh started opening up to me . Something different was about him that day. He started talking of his past relationships. Surprisingly he had 3 girlfriends and all three dumped him for his closest friend and since then he didn't like to keep close friend. Somewhere in between he did mention about having soft corner for Tanishka since they both had been together since ages. Aksh opened up about his personal life,about the family problems he suffered. His suffered childhood and all the sufferings he faced. I didn't know but it was Examard(like drunkard) talks. We were so close to a booty call. All this time, I never noticed Aksh using the phrase, oyy yarr this frequently. He used to fit sentence in such manner that out of 10 sentences he could use the phrase in 8 sentences. I don't think he does it deliberately but it's like more of a habit to him. I glanced at my watch to see how manu years we wasted talking here? I supposed at first my watch had gone wrong but it actually was 20minutes passed since we started talking and opening up. He was still drunk. He was blabbering . But I started to fly in my own fairyland. His voice was the background score for my adventures in fairyland . My fairy, Tanishka, all dressed as Cinderella with a utterly butterly smile on her face. We played around in the green fields, holding each others hands , our bodies at times thrashing each other and little did I distracted to attend Aksh in his talks. When I went back to fairyland we already had started making love .

My eyes were closed, savouring every inch, every nick of her majestic body which I believed to be filled with Sandalwood  coz she smelled uncomparable. She too was mad in making love with me. Of course I was best, who doesn't want to be hero atleast in imagination I had to conquer her. We were cuddling, we were engaged in each other,deep eye contacts, bodies getting warm, the air around us becoming sweatier,the smell of her imbursing in air and making me want more. But in all these, an irritating smell interfered. A smell of despair,distrust and conspiracy. The smell was of the incident my dear friend Aksh had just mentioned. His drunkard talks started to open up deepest and hidden secrets.

The most irritating smell was when he accepted that he was the one to puncture my vehicle's tyre. And that Tanishka was the one to make plan and execute it. And it felt as someone slapped me without me even getting hint of it. Right in the face,all four fingers imprinted . I remembered the way Tanishka talked with buttery words that very day. But this was not all. The bigger incident,the sadist act, was planned by the girl I met on the trek. Avani,that's what all called her. She was kind a flirty girl. She was flirting with almost every boy she met and I was her lucky draw . She just wanted to have fun, and I was the perfect candidate. She gave some money to the guide and by some I am saying 6k. Yeah that's a huge amount. She gave it to the guide and the rest is all we know what happened . But my question was how was Avani able to do this ? Again my drunkard friend cleared my doubt. He told me that Avani had a good friendship with Tanishka and himself . And not only did they knew the plan,but they actually helped her to execute it. Again for them I was the fun toy. This one, it really came as a punch from a boxer whom I would have pissed up. My legs were stuck there, I stopped. I was so mad ,crazy and literally feeling devastated.  I felt even more hatred towards Tanishka for what she did and now that we were this close she never cared to tell me. And I started doubting about what happened in the room ,was it also one of her FunRihan toy challenge. Aksh also told me that Tanishka had mixed hypnotics in the juice she offered me.

I thought I was done for the day. So I told Aksh that I need to go home because I have to revise for the exams. I can't cry infront of this  bastard. My atomic sized male ego won't let me do it. But who knew there was one more bomb to be dropped. Aksh told me that Avani and her friend were the one who took away my clothes from the bathroom. And I am pretty sure I knew her friend. The last bomb dropped and I was crashed into pieces. I gathered the pieces and went home . Aksh,the pilot who dropped the bomb,went to his home in his fighter jet which had only one headlight working . I couldn't climb the stairs of my apartment. I don't know how I happened to reach my house but somehow I ended up in my room. I locked myself in the room and cried the shit out of me.It was all happening at same time, best friends fucked me up. My trust, kindness and honesty was balled and played. I am feeling enraged and depressed. But I promise myself they will pay for it. The way I fought with my tears ,not letting them to come out ,they also will. They will suffer the same shit as I felt today. My mind already started making strategies . Diary, I know this is not right,but I can't live with this burden. And it will only be lightened whence I made them suffer...................