clown

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i dont want to be
fucking alone anymore.
now i'm not even coming
out of my room,
no lights are on.
my mom knocks at my door
cause she's worried about me.
some days i feel like a clown.
my only job is to make people
happy, but how do i do that
to myself?
how do i make myself happy?
i'm so fucking tired.
my bones ache.
i'm done fighting.
if i'm just destined to be
sad and lonely,
then that's what i'll be.
i don't know how much longer
i can fucking do this.

m.r
99 words

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