Orthodontics in the Zombie Apocalypse

19. The Bloody Adventure Continues (1/2)

We don't make any productive travel progress the first day. I think we walked over ten miles, but after that we broke into a little house and hunkered down for the night. This time, Angel made herself useful by checking out the house for any other living (or undead) folk before we settled in. Then we raided their pantry and got a nice meal.

"The end of the world isn't as bad as I thought it would be," I say as I lift a bite of macaroni and cheese to my mouth. I was extremely disturbed when Mikah made the cheese sauce first and then added the noodles from the strainer. "What are you doing!" I had yelled at him—or close enough to a yell without attracting too many zombies. "You need to put the noodles back in the pan before dumping in the cheese stuff!" He looked at me like I was the crazy one. Either way, it wouldn't have turned out good. We had to add some extra water to liquify the powder since the milk was all sour and chunky. The consistency made my nose scrunch, and I threw down my spoon after the first bite.

"I changed my mind," I say as soon as I swallow the first bite. "This sucks."

Mikah frowns.

"Not your fault," I say quickly. "You didn't exactly have gourmet ingredients to work with."

He shrugs and continues eating, though we all choke a little with every bite. It tastes like watered-down easy-cheese...but worse because the water has very noticeable traces of minerals, and that just makes the taste kind of bitter and the noodles a bit weird. It's possible that the odd lumpiness of the noodles—where parts of them are a bit too soggy and other parts are still a little crunchy—is due entirely to Mikah's cooking skills, but I personally hope that it's just the water's fault.

It's as we do the dishes—or, rather, watch Angel pick up some slack and do the dishes for us—that I feel it. A fist clutches my abdomen in its tight grip and squeezes extra hard. Then, after a minute, it lets go. Only to come right back when I shift the slightest bit. Shit.

I slip away and open the various doors of the house in search of a bathroom. There's only one bathroom, and it is entirely useless. I rummage through the entire contents of the cupboard under the sink—the only cupboard, as far as I can tell. Nada. "Shit," I say under my breath, this time out loud.

"Is there another bathroom here?" I call from the hallway between the bathroom and kitchen.

"I don't think so. Are you okay?" A pause. "Did you clog the toilet?"

I roll my eyes at Mikah. "No. I have a bigger issue." I waddle back to the bathroom, paranoid that the moisture in my underwear is more than just crotchal sweat now, and wad up some toilet paper. Nothing red yet, but better safe than sorry if this is the best I have to work with.

Angel tries to conceal a laugh when I walk back in.

I cross my arms over my chest. "What?"

"I was wondering why you were acting so weird lately. Aunt Flo is coming for a visit."

"You've only known me for a few days!"

"Yup."

"You think my entire personality is PMS?" I ask, voice rising.

"Well, I hope so."

I frown and walk away rather than take the bait. Mikah sighs confusedly and mutters something about showering.