"Do you even know how to hot-wire a car?" Mikah questions incredulously.
"No," I admit nonchalantly. "But I don't need to. If the keys aren't in the ignition, then they're on that guy I just beat with a pipe." I pause in the midst of ducking into the driver's seat. "Do you know how to hot-wire a car?" I interrogate, a look of accusation on my pressed lips.
Mikah shrugs. "I know a thing or two about street skills."
My full weight lands on the leather seat. Ah—It's heaven! Now this is a luxury car!
A set of keys lie on the center counsel; several silver attached to the same ring as a thin, black fob. Which means this car is button-start, which means I am going to fail the dummy-proof system.
Mikah slumps into the passenger's seat with a sharp exhale and exclamation of pain. "Ow!" He rubs the side of his head vigorously and glares up at the top of the doorframe. "I like trucks so much better," he grumbles.
"You picked the car," I point out whilst searching for the start button. It turns out to be a big red button where the ignition typically is with the word "START" printed across it in big white letters.
Nothing happens.
Mikah gives me a sidelong look that seems to point out my obvious stupidity, but I don't see what he's getting at. He nods towards the screen embedded in the dashboard between us.
"Oh," I mumble, reading the words flashing across the screen.
"The car knows how to operate itself. You should trust it," he deadpans.
"Foot on break, press button" continues to mock me until I do as instructed. The engine purrs to life, softened to almost nothing by the mufflers.
A thought strikes me before I even switch gears, and I mumble, "Hold on."
I step out of the vehicle, walk across the broken street with scuffing feet, and pick up the pipe tossed precariously near the groaning, undead corpse. I toss it at Mikah and sit back down.
"It might come in handy," I say nonchalantly to the shocked silence from him.
I whip the wheel around, prepared to dodge a long line of zombie-infested cars, and hit the accelerator.
"So, where can I find your uncle?" I ask as we jostle through potholes to avoid a semi truck with two cargo units tipped on its side.
"You're really serious, huh?"
My lips puff out over the sharp metal covering my teeth in a grimace. "I'd rather not be stuck for eternity with these things, thanks."
"Have you talked to any of your family yet?" he asks.
"Yeah, my mom was home for breakfast. But I hightailed it out of the house once I realized I was on the menu."
"That sucks."
"Yeah, I'm gathering that about my life at the moment."
I turn on the radio after the silence seeps into us like sour lemonade spilt on a favorite pair of pants. "—break to update on the infestation. It looks like the Super Bowl has been postponed indefinitely due to both teams eating each other."
Another voice pipes up: "I know, John. They need to feed those players better!"
"This is not a laughing matter, Bill," the first guy reprimands.
Mikah switches stations by this point, cutting off the chuckles from both men.
The next station invites us to listen to a woman's screams. "—ctually in the building! I repeat, the zombies have breached! Tell my family I love them!" A loud thump echoes through the radio and the woman screams. Mikah reaches for it right as the sounds of squelching flesh and groans take over. I turn it off entirely before he can hit the button.
"The world has gone to shit and I can't even say it without braces."
"You're kidding, right? You just listened to a woman being eaten to death, and you're concerned about braces?"
"At least the zombies could eat her without getting things stuck horribly in their teeth."
I glance over to find him staring at me as if I just said I was about to murder someone. "What?"
"You have some serious issues."
My tongue catches on a bracket and a metallic taste floods my mouth. "Tell me about it."
+++
A/N
Early update just for you, sis! Happy birthday! Love you!
YOU ARE READING
Orthodontics in the Zombie Apocalypse
فكاهةThe zombie apocalypse started before you got your braces off? Great! That means you can relate! +++ Piper has only one wish in this world: have her teeth freed of these damn braces. Of course the zombie apocalypse decides to start the day her braces...