In Medias Res (Completed)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

His eyes gleamed one that I’ve seen the first time I met him, his lips curving into a smile as his breath would graze my lips. Staring into his green orbs as the silence surround us unknowingly, the small tunes from the branches, to the neatly cut bushes, and the stereo were being drowned out by the silence. The silence that loud thumps of the heart would hear and that wild butterflies would awaken to the way he smiles. Pulling an inch away as I stifle out a laugh, looking away from his eyes.

“I wanted to tell you ‘I love you’ without stuttering, but I guess that failed.” he let out a small chuckle as he pulled me back into his chest, swaying to the non-existent music in the background. The fine sound of loud silence that would always bear witness, especially at times like this.

“I didn’t mind the stuttering,” he said softly. “I don’t even have the words to tell you anything right now.” looking up at him as the bright shade of red crosses his cheeks rising from his neck, shaking my head and resting against his chest as he places a kiss to the crown of my head. It was moments like this when I wished he would stop making my heart skip a beat, it was moments like this that made me feel weak in the knees, it was moments like this when I know I’d love him more than I do myself.

“So?” he raised an eyebrow. “Are you two dating now or what?” choking on my coffee looking at Finn’s serious face, shoving him back to his seat.

“What the hell Finn!” Rae exclaimed. “But seriously though Lily, are you?” shaking my head at the two of them as they take a bit of their food.

“No, we are not.” I firmly tell them the unison groan came like a sound effect bound to happen as I ask for another refill.

“We’re just re-evaluating the situation.” Finn slammed a hand to the table as Rae apologized in his behalf for shocking the people in the diner.

“Situation?! Come on Lily! This doesn’t even classify as a situation!” he exclaimed. “You told him you love him and you two are still not dating?!”

“I think that’s totally fine Finn.” Rae blatantly said, the two getting into a heated argument until Rachel stood up storming off. Finn sighed ruffling his hair groaning as he cursed his way through his own fault.

“Aren’t you gonna follow her?” he sighed and shook his head.

“She’ll be back,” titling my head and staring at him with furrowed brows, glancing over my shoulders trying to spot Rae through the crown but failing.

“Do you trust her?” he looked at me like I was crazy.

“No,” he grunted. “But I do trust her anger.” we ended up laughing and waiting for Rae to come back which to some miracle she did, Finn flashed a smirk at me as he kissed her temple. The cold pavements would reverb with every clacking of shoe that made contact with it, and through that crowd your electric blue eyes intently stare.

“Can we talk?” you weren’t smiling as usual today, the dull colors of your coat contrasting your gorgeous blue eyes. Every time I would stare at them it sends chills down my spine, and right now as your hand held mine I question the words I’d utter for him that night.

“I’m sorry but, I’m out with some friends.”

“Please. Just this once can you give me a chance?” Ezra’s voice cracked.

The bay looked breathtaking, the cool tones against the orange sky fading into the dark purple hue. Staring intently from a far careful to not meet his eyes, the gush of wind blowing swiftly, ever so warmly against the bay.

“Those things you said last night,” he trailed. “Did you mean them?” keeping my eyes set on the water before me resisting the urge to look at him.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Don’t play dumb with me Lily,” his voice a tone lower than before. “I love you and you don’t even care!” he exclaimed I couldn’t help myself looking at him at this point, his eyes were a bit red and puffy. Hair is messy as his hands were balling into fists until his knuckles were white.

“Ezra, I-”

“I need to tell you something very important and I don’t want you to respond.” swallowing the lump stuck in my throat as I nod my head, he opened his arms gesturing for me to come closer. His warmth wasn’t like Eli’s but it was fluttery, gentle, and still full of care.

“The first time I saw you was when I handed in my manuscript, you were just simply enthralling. I thought to myself how can a person like you work there at the firm, you spoke softly, you were smart, your hands were small and delicate, you look so perfect.” he sighed looking up as he tightened his grip on my shoulder.

“I couldn’t get you out of my head, and then you called. Your voice was charming I couldn’t find the words to answer you over the phone right,” he chuckled out. “Meeting you at the book fair was like seeing you again for the first time, you were simply breathtaking. You weren’t interested in anything aside from working and I admired that, how dedicated you were, how you simply took away the breath from my chest. I didn’t think it was possible to love a person as much as I love you.” I couldn’t help myself but lean into his warmth, his voice ever so cracking once or twice in a while as he told me more.

“Ezra, I didn’t know.” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“I wish I didn’t have these feelings Lily,” his hand fluttering to mine as he laced his cold fingers with mine. “but I do, and it hurts.” his head slumping down resting it on top of mine.

“Ezra, I have to-”

“Give me a reason to fall out of love with you, please.”his soft sobs as his grip would tighten on my hand, gently stroking his hair to calm him down.

“Ezra I’m so, so sorry,” I cooed.

“The least you could do is say no gently.”
“I love you, I do. But I love Eli more.” he shook his head and buried it into the crook of my neck, the trickles of tears coming reaching to my shoulders drenching the sleeve of my shirt as I sit there stroking his hair.

“Please. Don’t leave me,” he croaked. “I don’t want to be alone.” the soft trickles of tears drenching my shirt, his hair tickling my jaw, as his faint breathing touched my skin, the Ezra before me so fragile, warm, and full of sweetness. As I cradle his head, as the sky turned dark, as his words rung deep as I reach the answer that has been dangling at the tip of my tongue.