REMINDER: This was written before the situation with Ukraine, Russia, and the U.S!
A/N: Read the oneshot to find out what the hell is happening.
Jk. So America sends Russia a text at like 10:00 pm. Some great wholesome stuff
On with the story!
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It was a cloudless night out. The moon was shining, the sky clear as you could almost see every star. The houses were silent as everyone was either asleep or just downstairs(or upstairs) watching tv or just hanging out with friends.
The leaves on the trees shook slightly as the wind blew and owls and other night time birds flew in the sky.
It was beautiful out. Absolutely silent.
So what is our favorite American doing tonight?
He was snuggled in his cover with his socks on and an oversized tshirt that he accidentally bought a size too big, and no pants on. He was watching YouTube and looking through his recommendations when he saw it.
He saw the legendary video ponpon.
He got an idea. A dangerous idea. Very dangerous indeed.
He called Russia.
*ring ring*
*ring ring*
*ring ring*
"Hello?" The Russian answered.
"Oh hey dude!" The American said as cheerfully as possible but in the inside he wanted to fucking sleep.
"America? Are you not you supposed to be somewhat asleep? It is 10:00 pm from what I can assume." The Russian asked.
"America is full of insomnia and you know it. ANYWAYS! I just wanted to see how my favorite commie bastard was doing!" America said smoothly beating himself up at how he should've really checked the time in Russia.
"I'm the only one you call that capitalist pig." Russia was not amused.
"That's the commie I know and love!"
"You hate me." Russia said not really wanting to deal with this bullshit.
"I know." America said bluntly.
"You know what, I do not have time for this today. And go to sleep." Russia hung up.
"O-kay then. Well now that I know that Russia is awake. It's time to commence operation: annoy the hell outta Russia for your own pleasure!" He said fist bumping the air.
He turned to a random corner of his room.
"Get your head outta the gutter." He said.
He basically(excuse me since I don't text a lot) went to his contacts and basically pressed a button which sent him to a chat. He copied the link of the AMAZINGLY AWESOME video and pasted it in the chat. Then he left.
And so he waited for the Russian's response.
And he waited.
And waited.
Annnnd waited.
Okay America was impatient. So to pass the time he watched random CALLING 666 AT 3:00 AM GONE WRONG(NOT CLICKBAIT) BEST FRIEND KILLED???
Yeah he was bored.
Then he got a call. From Russia. America composed himself and answered.
"Hello?" He said shakily.
"Oh yes, America, did you send me a video about a child singing how her big brother having sex with her?" Russia said.
"N-no..." America snickered.
"America..." Russia raised his voice.
America howled with laughter. Russia couldn't help but smile at the other end of the phone. America wiped a tear from his face.
"Omg I can't believe you actually watched it dude!" He said after he calmed down.
"Da da, but how could I not? It could have exploited your weaknesses. I hear that you fear, what was it? Ah, Dora the Explorer?" Russia said smirking.
"That show has scarred me for life. Dora why can't you see where the water is?" America shivered.
"I shall play it next meeting, da?" Russia said.
"Nuuuuuuuuu!" America fell back into his bed like the drama queen he is.
"Stop being so dramatic." Russia rolled his eyes.
"Hey you aren't awesomely afraid of Dora so shut up." America pouted.
Russia giggled(manly). "Ah, da, I have work to do, most likely I send you extra small condoms."
"I'll be sure to wipe my nose with them if I need to." America said unamused.
"до свидания*"
"Yeah yeah, bye commie bastard."
"капиталистическая свинья.*"
The phone line went dead.
America suddenly felt tired. He made a small nest of blankets and pillows and smushed himself in the middle. It was cozy. He went to sleep with a smile on his face.
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That didn't take long. See? Something wholesome. Nice and short just how I want to be.
Anyways I have translations!
*до свидания/ Bye
*капиталистическая свинья/capitalist pig
Bye!
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FanfictionHi, I'm Redreddraws3, and this is my first time making a oneshot book! This book exists because I have ideas that I wanna write, but I didn't have a book to write them in, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. Yes, this is an America onesh...
