In quarantine

Corona and crisis

*Pilar*
I sigh and put away my phone, ignoring the usual messages.. why are men like that ? It makes me so tired. For some reason my thoughts go back to last night, waking up rolled up in Zac's lap.

To be honest it had been nice talking to him, he is a rather good listener.. and it's like he.. reads you. I just hope I did right in trusting him.

"Morning Pilar". Nina's head pop into the tent. "There is breakfast in the house.. and we need to talk a out how to handle this corona crisis.. apparently it has started spreading here in the US too".

"Okay.. give me five minutes then I will be there". I mean I have heard about the virus spreading in Asia and Europe.. I would hate if we have to end the holiday now.. we have been saving up for this for years.

She gives me a smile and nod, before disappearing again and I roll out of bed and pull on a pair of yoga pants and a big soft hoodie, before pulling my hair up in a loose bun.. I don't care to put on makeup.. why would I.. I am not trying to impress anyone.

"Morning". I mumble as I walk into the room, finding everyone there. I get waves and mornings all around, except from Zac who gets up.

He comes over and take my hand. "How are you sweetie ? Did you sleep well and are you okay this morning ?"

My heart is for some reason beating rather hard.. probably because everyone else seems to be watching us. "Uhm I slept fine.. the tents and beds are very nice.. so I am okay".

"That's good to hear". He gives me a warm smile and I am sure my cheeks are blushing.

"So.. did you manage to go back to sleep ?" I try ignoring the others and focus on Zac's smiling face in front of me.

The smile widens and he squeezes my hands softly. "I did.. Thank you for asking".

"Of course". My voice go low, hoping the others won't hear. "Thanks for .. the talk last night.. it was.. nice of you".

"No.. thank you for trusting me.. anytime you need to talk, just tell me okay ?" He gives my hands another squeeze.

Nick discretely clear his throat. "Breakfast is ready if everyone else is too".

"I'll remember that". I tell Zac softly, and give his huge hands a squeeze before pulling mine from his grasp and going to sit down.

I end up sitting between Zac and LZ, which is okay.. Nina is, of course sitting next to Nick, so close they seem to be joined at the hip.

As we eat people start talking about this virus and how a lot of countries has already been locked down to some degree. LZ is looking up what info he can find and there is a tension in the air.

"So what do we do ?" Matt looks around.. He looks uncertain.

"Good question". Emilia say, biting her lip slightly.

Nina glances at Nick. "I would really love to stay here a little longer".

"Maybe staying is the better option.. not risk of getting infected in airports and such". Nick say, smiling at Nina.

"Nick might be right there.. even though I think his motives are a little.. sketchy". Zac grins at a grumbling Nick. "You are welcome to stay here and ride it out".

I am chewing my finger.. to be honest the idea scares me.. staying here with all these men, especially Zac who seem to read me to well.. and also having to watch Nina and Nick. "Maybe we should just hurry home".

"Pilar ! We waited for years for this.. I saved all my money". Nina looks halfway panicked. "Why not wait and see.. it might just be a week or two and then we can continue the trip".

"Fine !" I huf and push my chair back. "I need some fresh air.. thanks for breakfast Nick.. it was good".

*Nina*
"Maybe I should go talk to her". Zac seems about to get of his chair. It is sweet to see how he clearly care for her, I just fear he will end up hurt.. I love Pilar, but she isn't always easy.

I get up. "No, let me go handle it.. I know her".

He nod, and I lean down to kiss Nick softly, his hand coming up to rest on my cheek, before I leave to find her.

I find her pacing the grass out back and call out softly in spanish. "Are you okay sweetie ?"

"Yeah.. of course.. staying here with a bunch of men just because you want some prime canadian bacon.. sure". She huffs.. still pacing.

"It's not like that.. I really like him.. but I guess you don't understand that". I feel my chest constrict. I mean I know what she has been through, but just because she has been unlucky it doesn't mean I can't have love.

She snap around and stare at me. "No I don't understand.. he will break your heart.. they always do that.. when he has gotten what he want he'll discharge you so fast your head will spin".

"Nick isn't like that". It actually hurts, mostly because a little part of me fear she can be right. "I am sorry that you have all these bad experiences with men.. but I want love.. and a relationship".

"And you don't think I want that ? I want it so badly.. but I want it for real.. someone I can truly trust.. I just don't see that in men.. they either cheat or they only care about my looks". She looks somehow heartbroken.

I breathe in.. not wanting to hurt her. "But you never give any man a change.. you reject them instantly.. I mean.. here we are surrounded by nice good looking guys.. you doesn't even seem to notice.. I think Zac .. likes you".

"Like me ? He is a movie star.. he is used to having models throwing themself at him.. I mean look at him". She shakes her head, something briefly flashing through her eyes. "He is not interested in anything serious".

"Don't judge him like that.. he is a nice guy.. and not at all.. movie star like.. Nick says he..". I try, knowing she is not ready to listen right now.

She makes a sound like she wants to throw up. "Oh Nick says.. I can't believe you are so naive and just jumping into this".

"Stop ! Please just stop". I almost stomp my food. "Your experiences are not mine.. my life is not yours.. you want to be unhappy well go ahead.. I want happiness and sorry but I want Nick".

"And were will that leave you ?" She is yelling now.. but so am I kinda. "Remember what happened last time you just had to have a man.. like ten years ago".

I gasp.. I have to admit it felt like a slap. "This is not the same.. Nick is not like him.. I am older and smarter now".

"Any man is like that.. just wait and see.. I see it all the time.. men wants only one thing". She is shaking her head.

"Ever wondered if you spur that on yourself ? You call me naive.. you are the one selling yourself out". Yeah I know it's a low blow, but it just slipped out.

The look on her face makes me want to apologise. "They deserve it.. I am just using Them before they can use me.. but sure.. I am the whore".

"Pilar ! I didn't mean that". I reach for her.

"Don't touch me.. you don't want my.. whorish germs to rub off on you". She is stomping off. "You can stay and play house with Nick.. I am going home".

I try calling her, but she ignores me.. dammit I totally failed this.