In quarantine

With a little help from his friends

2 days later
*Pilar*
I watch as Zac, with difficulty, turn first one way then the other.. his breathing is wheezing and he whimpers. "Zac.. babe.. please stop moving around.. you are making it worse".

"Hurts.. hurts". He mumbles desperately, and tries to turn again.. it is clear to see that he can't find a comfortable way to rest.

I had hoped he would start getting better.. but he only seems to get worse.. his breathing sounds horrible and the coughing.. It pains me everytime it rips through him.. he doesn't get much sleep, cause he keeps waking up himself by coughing.

"Babe". I hurry back to his side.. I had just been putting some used glasses and stuff on a tray.. I gently take his hand. "I know it's hard and it hurts, but try and lay still".

"For you". His voice is so weak and raw, like he has been gurgling acid or deep throating barbed wire or something. His eyes are red and sunken as they look up at me.

Settling in I can see he struggles a bit not to move, so I gently rub his hand, telling him it's okay, that he should stay still and that I am there for him.

He is laying on his back, and I can see how he struggles to draw the air into his lungs.. if he tries to take deeper breaths it clearly hurts and most likely it sends him into a coughing fit, if he keeps to swallow breaths his skin turns an unhealthy colour and his lips starts to go blue.

And talking of Blue.. the dog I mean.. he is laying beside the bed, whimpering every time Zac coughs or lets out a pained sound. Nick almost has to force him out of here to go for his walks.

Zac's eyes are closed and his breathing is coming in little huffs.. until it doesn't.. like in the tent is suddenly eerily quiet and I feel panic explode in my head. "Zac ! ZAC ? Babe you are scaring me".

But he doesn't react.. and Blue starts crying softly beside the bed, like he feels something is wrong too.

"Zac breathe.. dammit". I grab his arm hard, and I think I actually pinch him.

"Ouch". He mumbles, the huffing breathing back. And he looks at me like I just hurt him. "Why ? I was just sleeping".

I can't make myself tell him that he just stopped breathing, I don't want to scare him.. but I am beyond worried. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to".

But I feel I need to do something, what if it happens again, what if next time I can't get him back ? So I text Marshal that I need him, knowing from Sherry that he is up and about today, feeling.. not bad enough to stay in bed.

"Hi there sweetie.. hi Zac". It's five minutes later and Marshall slips into the tent, looking a bit pale, but elseway fine. "You wrote that you needed me, what can I do for you ?"

"Hi Marshall.. good to see you out of bed again". I smile warmly at him. "Do we have more oxygen ? Zac could really need some help with the.. breathing".

Marshall takes one look at Zac and nods. "Yeah I think I can swing something.. just give me a ..".

Zac holds up his hand, shaking his head.. his voice wheezing  and talking makes him gasp for air. "No.. no oxygen.. for LZ.. he needs more".

"Babe you need it". I say taking his hand.. I can't lose him, it's just not a possibility to me. "Let Marshall get some oxygen for you".

He is shaking his head. "No.. LZ".

"Zac you stopped breathing.. please you need this". I am fighting tears now, I know he just wants to make sure there is enough oxygen for LZ, but dammit he needs it too.

Marshall comes over, giving him a warm smile. "Listen here Zac.. the little lady is trying to make sure you stick around.. we would all like that, so what about you listen and let me get the oxygen ?"

His eyes look so worried as he shakes his head. "Not.. not enough".

"Don't worry Zac.. me and Nick are going to collect some more this afternoon.. a friend of mine has some stored from his old dad, so we will have more". I notice that Marshall doesn't say enough, but I guess none of us can know. "So will you let me get some now ?"

"Are you.. sure ?" Zac presses the words out and the pain sticking to each sound like slimy drops of snot makes my heart twitch.

Marshall nods. "I wouldn't lie to you Zac.. I'll be back in five minutes". He pads me on the shoulder on the way out.

I grab his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. "Thanks Marshall".

"No problem". He gives me a last smile before disappearing from the tent.

I just sit there, holding Zac hand while I wait for Marshall to return.. his skin is clammy, but at least he doesn't seem to have much of a fever, which I am grateful for.. I do not think his body could have handled a high fever on top of how bad his lungs are.

He is clearly struggling with every breath and he looks so tired, like someone who can't take anymore and I tell him softly. "Just hold on Zac.. Marshall will be here in a minute with oxygen.. it will get easier".

"Dying". He croaks.. his eyes so scared when they look at me and his hand is desperately clutching mine. "Sorry".

"Dying ? You think you are dying ? Zac please don't say that.. you are going to be okay". I feel how my heart clenches up for a second, then it beats wildly, hearing him say that scares the shit out of me.

He closes his eyes and a single tear runs down his cheek. "Can't.. fight.. too much pain".

"You need to fight Zac please". I feel panicked and so powerless, but I can't let him see this. "Come on Zac, you are too strong to just give up.. you are a superhero remember ?"

He lets out a weird sound that might be a chuckle.. suddenly Blue springs to his feet and jumps up on the bed. I am scared he could hurt Zac. "No, Blue don't".

"Okay". Zac holds up his hand, telling me it's okay. Blue rolls up, snuggling into his side and resting his head on Zac's stomach.. Zac weakly lifts his hand, resting it on the dog's head. "Hmm god boy".

And in some way, Blue being there, seems to steady Zac's breathing a bit, like he is mirroring the dogs breathing and for some reason this sends such relief through me, it's like I just witnessed a change in Zac.. a positive one.

Marshall shows up, quickly hooking up the oxygen and showing me how to work it and I thank him, telling him to go rest, because he is starting to look tired and he has just been sick.

"See she is bossing me around too". He says, sending Zac a grin. "See you guys.. and keep fighting Zac, I know you have it in you".

Zac gives him a thumbs up and as Marshall leaves I go to put the oxygen mask on Zac. "Here you go babe, just breathe. It will help you".

He nods and grabs my hand, pressing it against his cheek. "I know Zac, no need to thank me. I am here for you, always".