Revery of Madness (Doctor Who)

II - A drink or ten (M)

"You said something about getting drunk," the Master remarked, stuffing one end of the bedsheet under the mattress.

Roka threw a freshly sheeted pillow in his direction and grabbed the next one. It was a little strange doing this ordinary thing for the first time since... well... She had to think about it for a moment, but was rather sure she hadn't have to sheet a bed since she had left her parents at the age of eighteen.

Come to think of it... she wondered if the Master had ever done something as mundane. From what she knew he had grown up in a noble family, and the Time Lord academy surely didn't let students make their own beds. And then? After he left the planet? Aside from the Doctor's tellings and a few vague remarks on the Master's side she still knew almost nothing about his life.

Weird actually, considering how old he was. Which brought her back to his question. Maybe she could coax a few stories out of him.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, it was more of a joke, but why not?"

"Because I don't get drunk." He chuckled and caught the next pillow from Roka.

"Then why do you even ask?"

"You need some fun. Human kind of fun," he decided and neatly folded the blankets over the bed.

So neatly, in fact, that Roka was certain he didn't do this for the first time. The Master noticed her stare, or maybe even felt her puzzled emotions. He glanced up at her, lifting a brow.

"What?"

Roka winced a little and opened her mouth to respond, but closed it as she got aware of how stupid her thoughts must sound to him. But, since the Master was done with the bed, he simply strolled over and towered above Roka with a slightly curious smirk.

"C'mon, tell me."

"Uh... it's..." Roka looked at her shoes, unsure how to put it into words, then decided to bluntly say what she thought before. "That must sound so weird, but I didn't think you... ever had to make a bed. But you do it like it's second nature..."

A chuckle made her look up again and she saw his eyes crinkle with honest amusement. "I've been stuck in lots of places. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not." The smile slowly faded, got replaced by an expression somewhere between nostalgic and sad, his voice adopted a softer tone and he glanced away as if to hide his face from Roka. "I lived a thousand lives already, called countless places home and too many people friends."

Roka waited for him to continue, unsure what to answer. She knew the Doctor had never stayed for longer than necessary in one place, whereas the Master had. However, he rarely, if ever, talked about those times, or the people involved.

"It all ends, sooner or later," he uttered, almost more to himself. "Places whither or get destroyed, people die or turn themselves against you." There was a pause, his face contorted in pain that was so strong Roka could feel it herself. He looked back at her. She saw the gnawing loneliness in his eyes, that had been there as long as she knew him. "Or I destroy them myself."

Roka inched closer to the Master, carefully splayed her fingers over his hearts, wishing she was able to slip into his mind like he could, to soothe his pain. All she could do was to eventually wrap her arms around him and resting her head on his chest.

"You can't destroy me," she mumbled.

A deep sigh went through his whole body as he snaked his arms around her, one hand stroking her hair, his chin resting on her head for a while.

"I can. I probably will. I already hurt you. You know it will happen again."

There was so much pain and regret in his voice it made Roka's heart clench hurtfully. And for a second she felt it, all of it. The accumulated loneliness and anguish of centuries, sorrow and grief and longing for what he could never reach, a bottomless pit of swirling darkness in the depths of his very being. Her eyes filled with tears and only then did she get aware that his emotions were suddenly flooding into her as if he had lost all control over their connection.