Consequences | Nillie

Chapter 18 - Part 1 Millie

By the time Noah left, I had used up all my tears. So instead of crying, instead, I just lay on the floor and heaved tearless sobs into the carpet. I screamed.  I moaned. I held my breath for as long as possible, just to see what would happen even though it hurt. 

But I didn't mind the pain There was no physically pain worse than the emotionally pit I had fallen into. I was barely even conscious for a few minutes. 

Before Noah had arrived, I had felt completely alone and unloved. I had been in desperate need of help yet when he came for me, I pushed him away.

He had told me he loved me and I just let him go. How would I ever be happy if I kept pushing people away?

I had fucked up. I had really fucked up. But I could still change it. 

In a sudden moment of hope, I pulled myself up from the floor. Something clicked in my brain that I didn't want to cry myself to sleep for another night. 

I threw on the first pair of legging I saw and then left my trailer, running out into the night. 

I could barely see as I ran, the rain was so heavy and the wind whipped it into my face. I jogged for a few seconds toward the road and then stopped. There was nothing there.

What the hell was I thinking? That Noah was going to be standing there waiting? I had told him to leave. He was probably halfway to the airport. 

I slowly sank to my knees, ignoring the painful gravel biting into my skin. I stared at the ground, shivering from the cold. What would I have said if I had found Noah? I honestly wasn't sure.

I heard a sound to my left and a car pulled to a stop a few feet away from me. The headlights blinded me so I stood up and walked to the passenger door. The window rolled down as I approached. 

I peered inside the car at the driver.

"I'm here for Noah Schnapp. I have permission to me on the premises if you need to see it and I can show you identification as well as-"

"No it's fine I believe you. I'm not security or anything I was just surprised to see a car this time of night." I said. Cutting off the nervous driver.

"Oh. Well that makes sense. I was supposed to be here around 5 but my client pushed it back until now."

"you mean Noah?"

"Well I'm really not supposed to share anyone personal information but I guess I already told you..."

The driver remained me a bit of Noah. He was much older but still had a way of being funny purely by sounding stupid. 

"...Hey aren't you-"

"Yup. You want an autograph?" I cut him off.

"No no thats fine I was just wondering."

"You sure?"

"It would be unprofessional."

"Do you have kids or anything?"

"I have a daughter. She's 13."

"Does she watch Stranger Things?"

"Yes, she absolutely loves Eleven and Max. They're her role models."

"Come on you have to accept and autograph." I insisted. It was weird, normally I hated having to interact with fans but somehow in the messed up mental state I was currently in, this guys was tethering me to reality. Making me feel like my normal famous self. Like the confident Millie who knew all the answers.

"Ah what the hell sure. My daughter will lose it."

"Whats your name?"

"Gary."