I Don't Understand you ||Tsukishima Kei Story

Eat my crippled ass

Y/n's pov

"Mom!" I yell loud enough for her head to shoot in my direction.

Oh shit, oh shit. I haven't spoken to her in God knows how long.

"Y/n," she simply says.

She closes the car door and walks over to me. Good job Y/n, what the hell are we gonna do now. Maybe we could run into the streets? No, you idiot Wakatoshi specifically told us not to do that. Well, what else are we gonna do? Pretend to faint? Maybe, I bet she'd leave us in the parking lot. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

What am I doing here? This is my school. What are you doing here, you live in Tokyo with the sky trees.

"Um... I was getting my report card," I say. "But I guess you already have it,"

"I do," she nods her head. "So you can head on back to where you came from," she turns and starts walking away.

Wow, I love my mom. She's a very pretty woman, definitely doesn't look her age and she's pretty tall too.

"Why do you hate me?" I blurt out.

She stops in her tracks, turns and starts walking back over to me. Good job Y/n, your gonna die.

"Excuse me," she says.

I stay quiet because I'm too young to be executed.

"That's what I thought," she says.

Okay, maybe I do have a death wish.

"Why do you hate me?" I question louder this time. "I want to know why you hate me. Why you forced me to stay away from my friends and all this stupid stuff. I want to know what I did that made you resent me so much,"

I never thought I'd die in the parking lot, and its not even a gang fight.

"I've never once told you that I hated you," she straightens out her blazer.

Okay, maybe I have a sliver of hope.

"Well you sure do act like you do," I say. "So if its not hate, then what is it?" I ask.

"I don't hate you," she says.

"That's not what I want to know," I say getting slightly heated. "I want to know why you treat me like garbage,"

"Excuse me," she says offended. "Who do you think pays for you to eat, have a roof over your head, and your clothes?" she questions leaning over me.

I gulp. "Who do you think looks after me, who do you think raised me?" I question. "It sure wasn't you,"

Okay Y/n do we really want to die today?

"I am your mother," she says sternly.

"Mothers don't treat their daughters like this," I say. "Mothers don't force their daughters to live through a shit show,"

"I didn't raise you to speak such disgusting words," she grits her teeth.

"You didn't raise me!" I say louder than intended. "I learned these discussing word on my own,"

She shakes her head in disbelief.

"Why did you send me away? Why did you never come to see me? Why did you just leave me there? Why didn't you come to see me win nationals? I won for you!" I yell.

I close my eyes expecting a slap but it never ones, when I open them I see her back.

"You don't think I know how terrible of a mother I've been," she says. "I sent you away because I couldn't raise you, I knew I was not kind to you. And how could I face you after what happened to you?" she shakes her head.

I-is she sorry? Is my mother sorry for being an asswhore?

"Did you ever think that maybe I just wanted to see my mom?" I question. "I lived just to impress you! I did everything so you would just be happy! You went to Wakatoshis games! I started playing so you would come to see me too!"

"Y/n-" she starts but I interrupt her.

"No, if you knew what happened and how much of a shitty mother you were being why didn't you say anything!? How do you think I felt sitting in that hospital bed being told that my mother couldn't be bothered enough to visit her own daughter?!" I yell. "Do you even know exactly what happened? Because I don't fucking know!"

"I know what happened!" She yells back with her back still facing me. "The police showed me the video. I-it was terrible, I never wanted you to go through that,"

I heard of the video, everything that happened was caught on video surveillance. Which on its own was a mixed blessing, it was good because I barely remembered anything. I wouldn't have believed them if it wasn't for one of the investigators who came in and told me it was true. I refused to let them mutter a word of what they saw to me, I didn't want to know.

"If you saw what broken thing in your brain thought it would be a good idea not to come and see me?" I question. "If it was so bad did you not even think that maybe I wanted to see my mother who I was so desperately trying to impress?"

"I couldn't after what those me-" she starts.

"I don't want to know!" I yell. "So don't say it! I don't care how you were feeling,"

"I felt terrible, it was all my fault," She shakes her head. "All you wanted was for me to see even a second of your game. I was gonna see you cause I just heard you got hurt but I was taken to the police station instead, they told me everything. I just could go after that, if I had only gone it wouldn't have happened,"

"It's not your fault goddammit. No one could've done anything, so if guilt was keeping you from being a decent human being I didn't want to hear it at all," I say.

She turns around to face me with her tear-stained cheeks. "I'm so so sorry," she chokes out as she comes over and wraps her arms around me. "I understand if you don't forgive me," she sobs. "But I really do love you,"

Well, I was totally not expecting this.

"Um..." I start. "I don't think I can forgive you... yet," I say hesitantly.

She pulls away, "I fully understand," she says.

"Um... well I don't know what to say," I trail off. "Have fun at work I guess,"

"Do you want me to leave?" she asks.

"Yeah," I nod my head slowly. "I think so,"

"Of course," she sniffles. "I'm so sorry Y/n. I love you,"

She turns around and starts walking back to her car, her heels clicking against the hard cement.

"Bye," I say. "Don't get into a car accident of anything," I wave as she gets into her car.

She waves at me before she starts her car, and just like that she's gone. Well... that was... fun? I wipe my face expecting there to be tears but its dry.

"Holy fucking bloody cracker shoved under the Ikea chair," I sigh. "That was something,"

"Y/n," Oh fuck, and I thought we were done.

"Kei," I turn to see him standing there in some shorts and a t-shirt.

Fill in the blank: I want to eat _________.

-Crouton