Percy Jackson - Forgiving, not Forgetting

Mask-less

                                                ~~~Perseus~~~

She blinked, once, twice, three times before taking in a shuddered breath. She looked to be unable to talk, unable to speak clearly.

Before she could, I realized that she needed reassurance, but how could I do that? I couldn’t admit to her that I had been in love with her since I joined the Hunt, that would scare her even more.

“I want you to know, that it doesn’t matter what you feel, I will be anything you want. If you want to stay friends, then so be it. But if you want more, tell me.” I didn’t know that I said it until I was finished. Fortunately, that seemed to calm her down.

“I don’t know what I want. I’m confused. I want what I saw, a child, us in love. I want to be with you and dance in the rain. I want that and more. But I’m…” She trailed off.

“Not ready?” I finished for her. She hesitantly nod her head. I smile gently at her. I will admit, it did hurt that she didn’t want to progress at the moment, but I understood. She has been a maiden since birth, hating and despising males, when suddenly, she has feelings for one. I may not be perfect with all the flaws that I came with, but I did know that I was faithful. I would do anything, anything, for her. She was the moon, and I the sea. She pulled me in. And no matter what, I knew that I wouldn’t be like Zeus. I would never cheat or forget about my love. A million years could pass, and I would never forget her.

I remember being asked when I first meet Chaos, how I survived. Mortals all burn up and their soul would be lost to the chaos. Demigods would go crazy. Gods are only just able to meet her. But the whole time I saw her, I thought of Artemis, even before I knew my feelings for her. It was similar to the Styx. My mortal point. But this time, it was immortal point, because unlike the Styx, I wasn’t trying to stay mortal with iron skin. I was trying to become even more godly so I wouldn’t go insane.

And it worked. What I saw was Artemis pulling me down, further into the water, unlike to the Styx which pulled you up. She saved me, without knowing. And she needed to know that.

So that was what I did. I pushed my thoughts to her, showed her my memories. I showed her the times that I watched her, my thoughts of her, and my love. She was everything. Nothing could compete with her. I showed her some of the futures I had dreamed of, the drawings of us together that I burned before anyone could see. I showed her me. What I was under my barriers, and what I would be if she would let me.

When I pulled back from the connection that I made, Artemis was in tears. I thought that I pushed her too far, too fast. I couldn’t catch any emotion as I was too busy freaking out. When it came to her, I was a mess. Yet emotionless.

Because that was why I didn’t show emotion. Artemis would see the love and affection, and she would be scared. I pulled up a guard to only let her see some emotions. I never let her see my drawings, because she would see the love. But now that she knew, I dropped the mask.

I was vulnerable.

I let the emotions pour on my face. The pain, betrayal, love, anger, and anything else that I felt. There I was, mask less, showing my feelings so openly with the one I love. And I have never been so scared. For once, I didn’t know if everything would work out, if everything was going to be okay. Nothing was going to be a fairy-tale, but was it going to work. 

Would she accept me?

But that all vanished with what she did next. She kissed me. She kissed me. Me. And I knew, that the books had it all wrong. There wasn’t fireworks, or spark. No, there was Artemis and I. Two people, fitting perfectly with each other. I remembered each and every time we met, talked, or just stared at each other. I remembered her laugh. It wasn’t annoying or obnoxious. It was Artemis, pure Artemis. It was the essence of pure. But pure wasn’t white, pure was grey as ash. It was knowing. Because Artemis knew, just like me, that there was no good or bad, there was right and wrong. And pure wasn’t right, it was being in balance. Being both.