THIS STORY GETS BETTER(i think). WHEN I WAS WRITING- I WAS DOING IT FOR SHIT AND GIGGLES, BUT IT DOES GET BETTER AND THE WRITING IS MORE 'CONSISTENT'.
The protagonist is a lady who loves History.
When she finds out about this Anime about Vikingrs...
But once she noticed she wasn't falling down she looked at the ground that was far, far away from her.
What a slow woman.
Jesus was in front of her, sitting cross-legged in his holiness.
"Uh- Jesus?"
"Child, may you look at your clothing?", asked Jesus calmly.
Elena looked down at her clothing and now felt very exposed.
"I look like a hoe", is what she is probably thinking.
She was wearing high-waisted, black leggings, with a black leather thigh holster belt. In the pocket at both sides of her thighs were her black rods that can change into any weapon she can think of and stuff. The pockets around her waist were filled with round, pea-sized pellets.
(Oh, and by the way, silver pellets make the explosion radius of a hand grenade while gold ones are like C-4.
Also, it's infinite.)
Her top was sleeved crop-top that was zipped almost all the way up, except for her breast area. Under it, what she can understand, was wearing a pushup bra. Over her top, she was wearing a loose, black leather jacket with deep pockets. For her shoes, she was wearing black, knee-high, stilettos that were laced up with a zipper at the side.
Her hair was full of tight braids. The underside of her head was shaved and had an up-and-down design on it. Her hair on the sides of her head was braided while the top was smooth with hair and was made into a high, tight ponytail.
Thanks to lack of vitamin B-12, sleep problems and anxiety(wow, thanks high-school), she has a shit ton of white hair at the top that fades into black hair. Which, looks BADASS.
And of course the fox mask. The mask only hid the top half of her face. The mask had beautiful, Monroe red on it that pops from all the black clothes she wears. It had red tassels on the sides with a red ribbon to tie it at the back. At the place where there is supposed to be an eye hole, it had only a slit instead for the eye to see so people couldn't see her eyes. Also, so they can't poke them.
In moments she understood her breast was showing, she pulled up the zipper- but it wouldn't go up. Elena tried, and tried, and tried to bring it up.
But the zipper was an asshole and wouldn't go up and cover her bountiful breast.
(God, big breasts are a hassle. Good luck, Elena!)
"My child, I'm sorry to bring you bad news, but Freya made sure the zipper would not go up, ever. It could go down if you wanted it to, but it would never cover your entire chest. I sincerely apologize, I hope you can forgive me...", apologized Jesus, bowing his head down.
Elena flustered that someone higher than her is bowing to her and asking for her forgiveness, put her hands up and waved her hands frantically.
"No! No! Please don't bow down! It's honestly okay! It's-" Alena was quiet and peered down to her belly. What used to have quite some fat is now a semi-toned stomach. She had a bit of a 4-pack showing, but it was almost completely smooth.
In a panic, she looked down at her legs to check the thickness. She let a breath of relief to find that her legs were still THICK. Now she can make the vine of that dude going: "They tried to put me on the cover of Vogue," *claps his thighs* "But the clap of my dummy thick thighs distracted the photographer."
I hate my life.
"NOOOO! What happened to my pudgy stomach?!", screamed Elena in a panic. She now can't slap her stomach and beat it like a drum.
God, life is a bitch.
Jesus inhaled a breath and exhaled.
"This body was made at the possibility of you actually exercised and truly bothered to clean your face every morning and night. Frigg blessed you with smooth and unblemished skin and your "perfect" body. Though you still have scars on your legs and back, and that beauty mark in the middle of your chest.", explained Jesus.
