Stockholm Syndrome || Stucky

Chapter 3-Tell me a lie

A/N
.......... = perspective/place/drastic time change
Example text = flashback

..........

Steve visited Bucky in the medical ward the next morning. He stood looking down at him, waiting while he slept. As he did so, he found a chair and pulled it by Bucky's bed, sitting down and waiting to be able to have a conversation with Bucky.

The mumbling started once more, a few hours later. Steve looked up from his notepad where he had been drawing useless pictures for last two hours or so.
"Sergeant. 32557." He began, over again and again.
"Bucky? Bucky." Steve said, loudly, making sure Bucky could hear him clearly.
"Is that?" Bucky finally said, stopping repeating the same things over. "Steve?"
"Bucky." Steve said, smiling to himself. He was finally getting through to the man.
"Steve." He said, watching as a smile grew on Bucky's lips and his eyes met Steve's.
"Good morning, Bucky." Steve said, nodding and turning the page on his notepad. "You feeling okay?"
Bucky nodded and looked up at the ceiling, realising he wasn't in his usual room.
"Where am I?" He asked, quietly, feeling calmer now Steve was there.
"Medical ward." Steve told him, scratching the back of his neck. "Hit your head pretty hard. Sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Bucky said, looking back at Steve. He felt safe alone with Steve. But he didn't think Steve felt safe alone with him. He was still in bounds that's for sure.
"You feel like answering some questions?" Steve asked, beginning to write a few down on the notepad, leaving space for Bucky's answers. He looked back up at him once he'd finished, knowing in the back of his head Bucky could be dangerous. The mass murderer. But Bucky seemed..too nice for that. Although Steve didn't know Bucky that well, he knew Bucky couldn't be capable of things like that. Or could he? Steve really didn't know.
"Go ahead." Bucky said eventually, sighing softly.
Steve nodded. "So..you kept saying something about a Sergeant?" He said, holding his pen over the empty space. "Were you in the army?"
Bucky thought for a moment, did he want to tell Steve everything? Or did he want to wait. Wait to see if Steve remembered himself. Did he need to urge Steve on? Give him hints?
"Yeah. I was." Bucky said, nodding. He looked at Steve if that struck anything in his brain. Nothing.
"Is that how you lost your arm?" Steve asked, looking up at him once more.
"You could say that." He said, looking back up at the ceiling.
"Where'd you serve?" Steve questioned, keeping his attention on the notepad.
"I'm sorry?" Bucky said, looking at Steve. Noticing Steve's attention wasn't fully on Bucky, getting a little mad. He remained calm.
"What country?" Steve asked, finally looking back up at him. "Afghanistan? Iraq?"
"Oh uh..Iraq." Bucky said, lying. But he knew Steve couldn't tell. He never could. Steve nodded and wrote it down.
"Did you lose someone? A friend, perhaps?" He asked, completely oblivious to the lie Bucky had told him. He just wanted to know more, more about Bucky. About his life before they met, why he was here.

..........

Bucky held onto the train for dear life, struggling to keep his grip. Steve tried. He really did. He was so close. So close to grabbing Bucky. So close to not losing him forever.
Bucky's screams filled Steve's ears as he fell in the abyss below.

..........

Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I did."
"Who did you lose? If you don't mind my asking." Steve said, studying the mans face. His features. Those blue eyes. A jawline that could cut a man. That's crazy. Steve couldn't think of his patients in that way. Or could he? No. He couldn't. It's exactly the reason he had his patient privileges stripped from him in the first place.
"I guess..myself?" Bucky said, trying to explain the situation in the best way he could, without Steve thinking he was insane.
"What do you mean by that?" He asked, making notes as Bucky spoke. Intrigued in the conversation.
Bucky sighed and looked over at the wall. "Well..got shot in the arm." Bucky started, lying once more. "Couldn't fix it. Had to amputate. Never really, got back to the war after that. Didn't feel right. Felt like a different man. Not myself."
Steve nodded. "It's a pretty good fake arm, must've cost a lot." He said. "I'd say hundreds of thousands. Right?"
"Yeah. Expensive." Bucky said, nodding along with Steve.
"Is that why you were brought here? Because of the war?" He asked, twirling the pen around in his fingers.
Bucky shrugged. "I don't know why i'm here, Steve." He said, trying to stop himself smiling at the name. The name he'd waited so long to say once again. The name of the man he'd waited so long to see.
Steve sighed and put the pen down. "Right okay. That's my questions done."
"Does that mean you're leaving?" Bucky asked, immediately looking back at Steve. Feeling sad at the thought of Steve leaving tonight.
"Not if you don't want me to." Steve said, smiling slightly and nodding.
Bucky smiled a little, the thought of Steve staying made him happy. No one else. Just him and Steve. Definitely not that Peggy. She wasn't here. "How was your date?" Bucky asked, watching Steve's face change.
"How'd you know about that?" He said, smirking and shaking his head.
"I have my ways." Bucky said, laughing along as Steve did.
"Went alright." Steve told him. "Got along pretty well. Gonna ask her out again tomorrow night." Bucky's smile faded, the laughter stopping completely. This was not the way he wanted the conversation to go. He felt his heart almost be ripped out his chest. He stayed silent, looking away from Steve. "Are you alright, Bucky?"
Bucky nodded, holding back the tears forming in his eyes. "My..my head..hurts." He said. "Think i'm going to..go back to sleep."
Steve nodded and stood up, grabbing his stuff. "Got it. I'll come back later? If you want me to?"
"Maybe." Bucky shrugged, not wanting Steve to see him cry. Wanting Steve to leave as fast as possible.
"Well i'll come if you ask for me, okay?" Steve asked. Bucky didn't reply, just nodded.
Steve pulled the curtain and started walking down the medical ward, heading Bucky cry behind him. He wondered if he should go back and try male him feel better. But he already know he was the one who had caused Bucky's sadness. It was no point trying to cheer him up. He would only make it worse. Steve knew it was his fault, he knew he could do nothing about it. But he wanted to.