assured liar ☼ poe dameron

LIII

Childishly, I turned and kicked the wall I had my back up against in annoyance.

I sunk back down on the mattress and listened to the distant hum of music.

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The more you say stuff to yourself, the more crazy you sound.

The more I told myself I wouldn't be distracted by that pilot; the more I'd be lying to myself.

You see, you can go through life narrow minded, only expecting to be under the radar, never aspire to go further than above the line.

And that stupid line is what people defy you with.

That ridiculous line separates the people who try and the people who slip into the shadows, lurking like some sort of demon waiting to snatch other people down.

Those demons are the ones who grab the ankles of those above the line and drag them down in their self pity.

And that's how I used to see myself. One of the demons.

Someone who sulks under the line, and at any given time will pull others down with me.

The First Order chiseled my mind from stone, carving it into their perfect image. But beneath the stone I knew it was all wrong.

And as that stone cracked, so did I.

"Can you stop lolloping and get your ass up"

The hammering knocks pushed me out of my self evaluation. I was sat at my desk, piles of paper scribbled with tired writing lay out in front of me.

"Yeah- yeah one sec" I mumbled the last bit and pulled out of the chair, pushing a few pieces of paper to the ground by accident, fluttering to a halt.

I groaned at the humming pain in my knee as I bent down to pick the rogue sheets.

"Fuck" I hissed through grinding teeth as I smacked my hip into the side of the desk. My hand fumbled, trying to pick up the loose pieces.

I slammed them down on to the desk and the knocking cane again, louder than before.

"Alright!" I called out in my annoyance.

I limped to the door, with a satisfying click it swung open and an over excited Siena bounded in.

"Yeah sure you can come in" I rolled my eyes as she sunk into the mattress on my bed, pulling the covers over herself.

"Sorry" she said along with her giggling. Her eyes darted around the bed and she caught site of my pillow and clutched onto it.

"So you and Poe" she fought against a lurking smile. I could see her dimples threatening to show.

"Me and Poe what?" I leant on my side and retracted instantly as a sharp pain from where I bashed my hip resurfaced.

"You left the party together" her eyes wandered around the room- it was a complete dump site, papers on the floor, clothes in a pile in the corner.

"Oh" My voice faltered, Siena leant forward in her seat and gave into her infectious smile.

"Soooo"

"Nothing happened" I shot her back down, she moaned like an irritated child and flopped back onto the wall.

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"Always a next time" she grinned, trying to stay optimistic for me. After last time I spoke with her about Poe, it was when he walked away so I could see why she was annoyed.

"He said that"

"He what?!" She shot back up in her seat, her beaming smile crept back up showing her teeth.

"He said about a next time"

"Oh. My. Gods." She paused between each words and wobbled to her feet almost pouncing on me as she grabbed my shoulders.

"Skye you are so badass" she shook me in her hands, completely forgetting I was covered in bruises

I pushed her back, smiling through the pain where she gripped onto one of my black marks. She mumbled a brief sorry before plopping back down onto the bed.

"I mean you and a Commander" her eyes could've popped out of her head if she gawked any harder.

"How scandalous" she started to laugh uncontrollably, looking up at me with an overly amused smile.

"I think you're more excited about this than me" I mumbled half heartedly. Siena rolled off the bed, pushing the pillow aside and placed herself in front of me.

"Live a little" she stated simply, brushing past me as she headed for the door.

"Easier said than done" I looked back over my shoulder, we turned, eyes meeting at the same time.

"Let's just go eat" she sighed, fed up of my constant denying.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Strategically, I sat myself between Siena and Malik, one shy and one ridiculously loud. They would bounce off eachother, usually resulting in an entertaining conversation.

I was already half way through my Nashka- a native dish to D'Qar. It was a strange but rare delicacy, only eaten on special occasions.

The meat was rough against my teeth, sinking down my dry throat. I clasped onto a cup of water and gulped it down quickly, wiping my mouth.

Throughout the meal I let myself look at Poe opposite me. His head stayed down as he munched on his food but I could've sworn I saw his lips curved into smirk.

Subconsciously, my fingers hovered briefly over my neck, his marks looked like some of my bruises. I felt my cheeks flush at the memory of our last meet.

Siena bounced in her seat, indicating she was going to start the conversation like she usually did. Her gleaming smile turned to me as she spoke.

"So, Skye are you gonna visit your grandparents on Coruscant for our days off?"

If possible, my heart would fall in on itself. It was if someone got a hold of it and started to strain and twist it for their own sick pleasure.

"Hey what about Tatooine- Rey said you told her you were from Tatooine" Malik spoke up for once, head tilting to the side in a challenging way.

Poe's head snapped up and turned from soft into building anger. I was a red rag to his bull. His nostrils flared and his gripped on tightly to his fork showing the whites of his knuckles.

He thought I told everyone the truth.

It soon became apparent of my lies, they caught up to me.

They chased after me and snatched me when I leant expected it. Just as I was climbing above the line they put weights on my ankles, dragging me back down to the demons.

Poe slammed his cutlery down, and charged out the room, eyes followed him as he barged past the queue and headed for the exit.

A hush of whispers fell over the mess hall as all eyes were on our table.

I fumbled out of my seat, leaving the tray of food behind.

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this is shit but like let's vibe (also short but hopefully the next one will be longer)

skye fucks up more than i do and that's saying a lot

x