assured liar ☼ poe dameron

XXXV

We lay wrapped in silence. Poe completely calm, unaware of my lie and at ease.

I, tense and afraid.

And he can never know about this.

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Slowly and reluctantly, I strain every muscle in my body to stretch. Streaks of sunlight penetrate the window and blind me. My arms are heavy and I rub my knuckles onto my eyes. When I tried to sit up I suddenly noticed Poe's limp body sprawled out next to me.

He looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake him. I watched his face crunch up when he snuggled deep into the warm sheets. He was still fully dressed. His breaths were audibly calm, like there was nothing wrong with the world.

That was unfortunately, not the case.

But in those few moments of peace, I let my eyes take in every inch of his face. I made a mental note of how at ease he looked. How unproblematic he was. My eyes crawled up his face to the scar on his brow.

A permanent reminder of the lengths he went to for me.

"Quit staring kid"

His gruff, tired voice took me by surprise, I laughed when he shoved his face to the pillow. I ripped the covers off the bed and he groaned into the pillow with annoyance. I stood on the cold floor with my hands resting on my hips.

"Get up sleeping beauty" I giggled at his child like mood. He rolled over slowly and propped himself up on his elbow. He squinted his eyes and blinked trying to wake up.

"Aw, you think I'm pretty" he teased, holding his hand to his chest in a mocking way. I rolled my eyes and went to grab the pillow behind him. He flopped back down and lay on his back, eyes shut. I looked to the pillow in my hand and a cruel smirk washed on my face.

"I said" - I lowered my voice to a whisper and paced closer to his motionless body - "get up". I raised the soft pillow over my head and brought it down onto his legs. He jerked up at the contact and I continued to playfully hit him with the pillow.

He shot up from the bed and grabbed the other pillow next to him, trying to evade my hits. Ironic how the best pilot in the resistance is being defeated by a pillow. He popped out of the bed and stood opposite me with his hands out in defeat.

"Im up, I'm up" his voice was soaked in laughter and faint embarrassment.

"Good" the prominent smile didn't fade from my face. I chucked the pillow down on to the pile of sheets on my bed. I looked over my shoulder to see Poe, already putting his shoes on. His brow furrowed in concentration when he tried to do the laces up.

With a huff, I sat down on the edge of the bed. I watched Poe get up to stand opposite me.

"Team training today, I'll see you soon" he flashed me a gentle smile. It stung that he didn't know I lied to him, it shadowed the back of my mind. Nonetheless, I smiled back.

I had barely nodded and he was already out of the door.

After a long shower, I smoothly weaved back my hair into two braids. Despite my hand having an ugly mottled pink scar from the burns, it didn't hurt anymore. To me, it was a reminder of what I was capable of enduring.

It was a strange victory.

The skin-tight navy shirt clung onto the right places and the deep black training leggings did the same. I looked down proudly at the resistance logo embedded on the shirt. I finally found a place to belong.

An enthusiastic knock on the door pulled me to open it.

Siena wore the same training attire and an enthusiastic smile. She radiated pure joy and kindness.