D.O.L.L. (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Four

Written and published December 27, 2014

Rewritten and edited May 8, 2016

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A maid knocks on the door. "Rowan, sir," she says, her voice muffled. "It's time for lunch."

"I'm not hungry."

"But, sir, it's been-"

"I said, I'm not hungry!" I yell, covering my head with my blanket.

The door closes quietly.

It's been four days since Sebastian's death, and I haven't taken a step outside of my room since. I have been taking meals in here and don't leave for any reason whatsoever.

I didn't even attend Sebastian's funeral.

I can't.

I can't do it.

I won't.

Even my creepy dad does stuff to try and get me out.

Maybe because I'm all he has left?

On the night I turned eighteen, Sebastian was murdered and my mother died of her sickness. I wasn't very close to her, but my father was, so I guess he lost someone important too.

We're all each other has left.

But on my birthday is when they died.

So was it my fault?

I pull my blanket closer to myself, and pull my hat lower on my head. The leather and felt under my fingers makes me feel sad again, yet nostalgic.

Sebastian gave this hat to me.

I can't lose something as precious as this. I won't forgive myself if I do.

There was another knock on the door, and I yell, "I told you, I'm not hungry!"

"Rowan."

I look up. I don't have my glasses on, but I can tell who it is by the voice.

"Dad. What do you want?"

My dad sits down in a chair next to my bed. "Rowan," he begins. "I'm so sorry."

How did he even get in?

I scoff. "For what? Sebastian's death? I thought that Mother has died too."

He licks his chapped lips and kneels down in front of me. "Rowan," he says again.

"What?" I ask bitterly.

"I am sorry for starving, beating, yelling, and locking you up. I am sorry for locking you out in the cold and in storms. I am sorry for burning an scarring you when you were young. I am sorry for threatening and frightening you. I am sorry for taking away your freedom. But most of all, I am so sorry about trying to kill you." My father stops and takes a breath.

My eyes were watery. In that short amount of time, my father had apologized for everything he had ever done to me.

And, kill me now, I was going to forgive him for all of it.

What am I thinking?

I must be mad.

I must be crazy.

"So Rowan, please, please, forgive me," my father begs. "I am so sorry."

I should be mocking you.

It's so beneath you to beg.

I can't believe you right now.

It took the deaths of two family members for you to realize what you have done to me all these years.

You're pathetic.

"Dad," I say, my voice cracking. "I forgive you."

A stray tear falls down his cheek and his arm flashes up to wipe it away. "Rowan, thank you, thank you, thank you so much." he reached forward to grasp my hand.

I look away, moving my hand away from his reach. "But it's only for Sebastian and Mother's sake."

"Do you want anything?" He asks, sitting up. He completely ignored what I said. "Anything at all?"

"Dad, I'm fine, I don't need anything." I wrap the blankets tighter around me. "I'm fine. I don't need anything."

My dad stands. "If you say so. But if you ever need anything..."

I push my glasses up. "Dad, I'm okay. I just want to be alone a little right now."

He nods, and leaves.

-

Song: Black Bullet - Ascension

Enjoy!

Aryniss