When Harry met Z

memories

- How are you going to remember me when I am gone?

- Easy, simple, I am going to call you sHe.

- She?

- No, not "she", gosh, s-H- e, like: Styles Harry Edward...you see? (winks)

- You are too much. Please don't go. Just stay one more night, hold me...? Please?

- Hey, this is hard for me too, if we don't stop this now, I don't know what's gonna happen later. My life could be ruined. My parents might never speak to me again. Just let me go, please. You know I will NEVER EVER forget you, never ever replace you...

- I just want a piece of your heart. Nothing more, I don't want to be "the one"...

- Stop it, trying to seduce me with your lyrics once again...

- Hey. You do the same thing...

- Harry. Do you reckon this is reality. Do you know what is next for us? Maybe, the only left for us is to occasionally see each other on television? Or cross paths on shows, red carpets?

-That's awful. I swear to god, if I ran into you in a show with some model ...I might ignore you completely, I am not talking to you. Just be prepared.

-Gee. What is this? Hey. Do you think we are gay?

-Yes.

-F-k

-Yes and no. I don't believe in labels. I don't care, we can be humans.  I can love you, and not be gay. I don't think I will ever fall in love again. It just happens that you are a man. You know well I've had my fair share of relationships, and nah. Those don't work. We are meant to be, Z.

-F-k, where I come from I am expected to marry, have children, buy a house, all that shit. 

-I know. I won't force you to do anything you can't. But, when there are so many rules people live a double life. How do you think gay men live in cultures like yours? They lie! They hide!

-I won't let you insult my culture...

-I am not insulting it, it happens in many cultures, when there is repression there is hypocrisy. Don't you see it?

- Calling me a hypocrite now?

-No. But if you deny this love...

- I am not denying anything. I just want to live a normal life.

- "Normal"??? WTF is that?

-Not what we have Harry. This is pure fantasy and delusion, this makes me feel bad, I always feel bad for days, weeks and months. 

- I am not going to argue with you. You know damn well that we are soulmates, what we have is unique. What you feel is remorse and guilt, you are not depressed because of the relationship, you are depressed because you fear you are breaking the moral values and codes of your culture...

-Hmmm. One of the reasons I love you ... you are so smart. 

-Oh yeah.

-And cute. 

We had hugged days and days, nights and nights. He was my best friend, he was my inspiration, he was my music, my lyrics, he was my everything. I will never find anyone that so well mirrors my feelings. The most handsome guy I had ever met. We had shared part of our lives together, and now he wants to be gone. God. Please, tear an arm from me, please, break my leg, but don't let him go...I am going to cry, and I don't know what to do. Z, don't go.