When Harry met Z

CONFESSIONS

It was getting dark quite fast, I poured more tea (no pun intended). She seemed calm. Waiting for me to say something. I was a bit insecure about talking to her, but she made me feel reassured. She was an empath, how did I know? Because at no time she pushed for information, even when she found out who I was, she wasn't in my home trying to dig things from me, it was quite the contrary, I felt she was going to give me something. Her time, her understanding, her support perhaps?

-How do you write a story, if you don't want to make it a breaking news, or tabloid gossip? 

I asked her, breaking the silence once for all.

-Most stories do need to have news value, I mean, you need to find an angle that makes the story  appealing, even if it's not breaking news, current events, even if it's a feature in-depth story, it needs to have a hook, something that is telling the world something they wouldn't know otherwise. It has to be informative, or compelling, in my opinion. I believe the values of the journalist can be seen through how he or she shapes the story. The story can change so much depending on whose hands it falls into.

-Aha. So, if you interview me. What would be your angle?

-I mean, I don't know, you seem to have information you want to get out of your chest. Right?

-Not exactly. 

I said that as I stood up to open a bottle of wine.

-Vino? 

I offered her. 

-No, thanks, not when I am working. There is a famous case, Truman Capote, you know him? 

-Sorry, have no clue.

-He wrote a book, titled "In Cold Blood", this was in the 50s, or 60s, it was about two people sent to death penalty for murdering a family. Truman Capote wanted to do an intimate story about a killer, so he tried to get as close as possible, interviewing the killers in jail, he did tons of research, and even trying to find one of the killers a lawyer and going to court. He manipulated the guy into believing he was "helping him". You know what I mean? 

-Go on.

-Some journalists do that. They tell the interviewees that it'd help their cause to give them access to their most intimate information. Well, Truman Capote did that. He promised the guy he was going to pledge on his behalf, to try to annul the death sentence. 

She held her hair with one hand, looking at the window, as if she was making a declaration of principles. 

-So, the sentence was never revoked, it was never going to be revoked. You see? He lied to him. The guy died, and I believe Truman Capote even attended the execution. He finished the book, a best seller, a must read for journalists, master piece in literature. But, you know what happened to Truman Capote? He sunk in deep depression never able to write again. He started drinking and stopped writing. You know why? 

I looked at her eyes, she truly loved her craft, I could tell she probably had faced some same dilemmas. When did she face those? Maybe in Afghanistan? Or China? 

-He stopped writing due to an overwhelming sense of guilt. We journalist carry people's stories, we peep into people's lives, we pretend to be saviours, giving people a false sense of hope -not always intentionally... We go into their lives for an hour, two hours, and then leave. I am sure we can do our job without manipulating sources or interviewees. I think we can be honest with them. Voila. 

Jesus. This is fascinating. I can even write a song on it. I had never spoken to a journalist like this. She was telling me her secrets...

- I like the Truman Capote story. Hey, I don't need you to "save me". I just want to talk about my life, my music - for real, I don't need self promotion, quite the contrary, this might "harm me", on the terms of my managers - I need to talk about a real person, our lives.

I brought the glass of wine close to me, determined to keep talking.

-You see, I am in love with someone. And him and I are terrified that the media will find out. 

I paused. Took a long breath. Looked at her. I was surprised how calm she was, she was calm but I had her full attention.

-For many reasons, for once, he is a he -I paused again- secondly, we were in the same band. That f-ing boy band. You see?

-Yeah. That is kind of a story for the tabloids. No? I mean, I am not recording, no notes, you can retract any moment you want. Let me play the devil advocate here: Why do you think this story is worthwhile? Other than gossip?

-Exactly. I don't want the story to be about gossip on my life. I want everyone to stop asking me about my private life, about some random girls, about my heart racing, about who my songs are about, about whether I am a heartthrob, all that b-shit everyone asks me. I've had it. Also, I am not an lGBT activist, I don't need to write about that either.

-Okay...So, what's the point here. What are you afraid of? Why don't you guys make this public?

-If I tell you his name, will you protect his identity, never mention his name to others or in your article?

-Sure. You can trust me on that. I am still not sure I would write any article on your love story.

She was being sarcastic, I rolled my eyes. 

-He is muslim, and has a rather conservative family. No one has ever been curious to find out about his life. He is one of the most talented singers I know, our relationship unfolded while we were in the band together. He was the most talented and curious of us all. He had such an imagination. Try to watch all our videos, he was often ignored by the media. They never asked him questions. No one ever discussed that he was being attacked on social media for being half-pakistani. You know who am talking about?

-Sorry, I have no idea. I will have to do a bit of research.

- Lets call him for now Z, ZM. The love of my life. I know it sounds cheesy. But, hey, it's the truth.

-Okay. In your mind, what's the edge on this story? What's the angle?

-I want to help prevent the destruction of my relationship. I am desperate. I want to find a kind approach so he would be encouraged to accept to stay together. I want to show him that there are responsible journalists, responsible media, and the world does not need to look at us as monsters. If he sees that our story is not "horrible", that there is understanding, maybe he won't take such drastic measures. Do you get me? We are people, we have lives, we have feelings, and it's crazy, but the media is going to destroy our relationship, I must prevent that from happening. 

I kept talking. I felt I was getting something really heavy off my chest.

-Can you write about us from a human perspective, not from an entertainment perspective? Don't write about me as a sex symbol, that's b-shit. Write about me as someone who has been struggling to keep a relationship alive, and that has been the source of all my music. Most of my music. This has changed me forever. If this information falls into the hands of irresponsible journalists we are doomed. He is strong, but he is also fragile, he might never be able to face it. It might kill his career. You see why I need a good journalist to do this? I can't trust just in anyone. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

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