When Harry met Z

TWO YEARS LATER

Two years later my career had picked up quite well. I was happy with the music, collaborations, and the concerts I have put out. Media had tried to nail me, portraying me as a womaniser, and what not.

That horrible fight I had with Z, it was a terminal situation. It was the last straw, to me, him tattooing the eyes of that woman on his torso was the ultimate betrayal, more than leaving the band, more than all the ghosting, more than all the drama. It was a statement, crystal clear. What do they say? When someone tells you who they are and what they want, you should listen to them? Exactly 

Barbara and I had met more times, she even met my mother and my manager to research for the story. My manager argued with me on putting out the feature, but I threatened on changing managers, and even labels if I needed to. So, they ended up all agreeing. After all, I was growing up, I wasn't in a boyband any longer, they could come up with new marketing ideas. I just wasn't ready to compromise any longer.

Barbara and I put out a feature story titled: Does the media really know this artist?

It was a great article. Barbara wrote beautifully, she argued that politicians and business people often were scrutinised to the bones when it came to their lives and lifestyles, they deserved  time and resources so journalists would write accurate profiles about them. Whereas with artists - perhaps due to the entertainment value, or maybe due to the multiple publicists, PR people and managers we had around - the media never cared about accuracy, or accurately profiling who the artists really were. Many people had committed suicide (like Robyn Williams, for instance, but there are so many others) while the media had no clue on them, on their lives. Which is sad. Many suffered domestic violence, sexual harassment, abuse, discrimination, depression, and yet the media used them as commodities to sell. I was one such example. With the me-too movement many actresses came forward telling horror stories on sexual abuse they suffered, as if the world pretended for decades not to know anything. I told Barbara, and she used my quote, that most of the relationships the media attributed to me were false, either it was the publicist idea, or some twisted media who needed to sell headlines. I told her that media never went beyond the apparent, and that I had loved intensely someone for the last five or six years without the media finding out, which showed either the good job of the publicists, or how lazy the media was. 

I didn't want to "expose" Z, even though I hated him at that point, I wanted SO MUCH to put him in the open. But, because, well, I don't want to get into it, but maybe I still had some love for him, I felt I had no right to disrupt his life. I loved him and hated him, deep down exposing him would only create more drama, and I needed to start building my life around other people, other things, move on, move on, move on...

I had said though, in that interview, that the person I loved was someone whom I couldn't mention, not only due to the fame, gender and their personal situation. I knew I was causing controversy. Barbara told me the media always chased the "gossip" part of the story, that her editors might want names, or a tell-all, or coming out of the closet type of feature. She asked me if I wanted to define my sexuality. I said no. But I also said the media got it wrong, and it wasn't because of the publicists. I said, I had shared part of my life with one person, and my life was going to be forever marked by that experience. Who it was it didn't matter. But, while everyone was guessing about the songs I wrote, they were almost all written for that person, and that person only.

Barbara asked me why I was coming forward. I responded: "I don't want to maybe die one day and people thinking that the songs were written for some models, or singers, or that I was an womaniser. I want some true to exist as my legacy. Everything is in my music." I told her, that maybe this was going to be the last in-depth and personal interview I gave. But once was enough to set the record straight.