Misanthrope

20

Logan's POV

You know that feeling when you know that you should tell someone something but you just cannot bring yourself to tell them exactly what they need to hear. It sucks.

I watch as she sits on the swinging chair on Chase's porch as she impatiently waits for me to say something.

She looks so beautiful as usual. Her hair is so long and silky looking. Her skin is smooth looking and her minimal makeup only accentuates her natural beauty.

Her lips are coated in her usual clear gloss and I want nothing more than to kiss, bite and suck them until they are swollen and red.

I take a seat on the chair in front of her and take in a deep breath.

"I was scared" I tell her while looking down at the ground.

"What?" She asks in a confused tone.

"I was scared of how fast we were going" I reply and look into her beautiful eyes.

They are so captivating, drawing me in further with every second more I stare into them. Luscious green like a forest mid summer, taunting me with their beauty.

"You could have just told me" she says in a quiet voice.

"I know. I should have, but I just, I don't know. I didn't want to hurt you" I tell her.

"That's bullshit. You didn't want to hurt me by telling me you were scared of whatever we had so you cheat on me?! That makes no sense" she shakes her head and laughs humourlessly.

"I know, and I realised that, just too late I guess" I sigh and continue to search her eyes but she isn't showing me anything.

It disappoints me when I can't find any hint of emotion in her eyes.

Maybe that's how she felt when she was with me. When I shut her out and refused to let her in, even after I promised myself that I would.

Her eyes are like a blank canvas. Empty. Hollow. A void of nothingness.

"When did you realise? When you were ready to shove your dick in her or when you were caught?" She questions in a bitter tone.

I don't answer her. I can't. Her anger is completely valid. If I were her I would be acting the same.

"I'm surprised you took time out of your night with Stephanie to come and feed me bullshit" she mutters and I look at her confused.

"Oh please, Stephanie told me" she says but my confused expression remains "that you were meeting her tonight?" She asks now.

"I have no idea what you are talking about" I say seriously.

"So she didn't come to your house tonight wearing green lingerie?" She asks and I scrunch up my face at the mention of my least favourite colour.

Although, her eyes were an exception.

She notices my facial expression and laughs bitterly.

"Sneaky bitch" she mumbles.

"How long more are you staying here?" I ask her, changing the subject.

"Until his parents come back" she nods her head towards the door to tell me she's talking about Chase.

"What will you do after that?" I ask her in a worried tone.

She can't go back to her dad. Even if she can call the cops now, I won't let her. He will hurt her again. I can't have that.

But I hurt her. I did that. I let it happen.

Mentally hurting someone is almost the same, maybe even worse that physically hurting someone.