Misanthrope

27

TW

Can I trust you again?

The question has been plaguing my mind since yesterday.

Can I trust you again?

I know I want to. And I know I can. But if I do will you make me regret it?

Yesterday with Logan was different. I don't know how but everything felt different with him in that moment.

There was a look in his eyes that nobody had looked at me with before.

It made me feel safe. I liked it.

It made me want to forget everything and stay in his arms forever.

It made me want to let go of all of the bad things he has done over these past few months.

But can I handle the disappointment and hurt if he betrays me again?

That's the question.

I shook my head, clearing my distracting thoughts and focused on the boy in front of me.

Milo looked worried.

"What's up-" I began, trying to make conversation with the quiet boy.

He was always very quiet when he came over, he barely spoke to us unless spoken to, he would whisper back and forth with Chase sometimes, quietly giggling with a red face and a loving look in his eyes.

The boy was head over heels for my best friend, and I could tell by the look in Chase's eyes when he saw him, that he felt the exact same way.

It made me happy to know that Chase had finally found his person. After all he had been through, he deserved it.

"I'm worried about Chase" he cut in "I know you guys get high sometimes but Chase being sober these days is rare" the boy looked down at the table, a sad expression on his face "I don't know how to help him"

Milo had rang me this morning and asked to meet at the cafe for breakfast. I thought it was odd but if it made him happy it made Chase happy, and that made me happy.

He sounded worried when he rang me but he always sounds like that. He's a shy boy who panics when he needs to speak.

But sitting talking in the cafe, he sounded more worried than I'd ever heard him before.

"Do you know what he's using?" I ask him in the calmest voice I can, but my head is spinning.

Milo and Chase spend a lot of time together meaning we don't see each other as much other than in school. When I do see him he's usually out of it and has red eyes.

"I don't" he admitted "I don't want to make him uncomfortable by asking"

He's too kind.

"Have you spoken to him about it at all?" I ask him in a gentle tone.

"We had an argument about it last night" his eyes fogged over with tears "I didn't cry though, I didn't want to make him feel bad. I asked him to stop, or to at least try. It's going to ruin him"

"How did he react?" I asked, threading carefully not wanting the boy to break down.

"He got mad at me" he whispered, a tear fell down his cheek and I felt anger bubbling inside me "He told me not to be stupid and that he was fine. But I know he's not fine Alex" he looked up at me with pleading eyes "I don't know what to do. I need him to be here, he's going to end up dead at this point" more tears.

"I love him" he whispered, looking down at the table again.

"I know" I replied with a small smile, taking his hands in mine, rubbing soothing circles into them.