Gigolo (A Taekook Ff)

chapter four

"Among my stillness was a pounding heart. "

--- Shanon A Thompson

Jungkook P.O.V

First love - it's the first time you hold the bow, and let someone else pull back the arrow aimed at your chest. First love is trusting them not to let go, trusting them to protect your heart.

First love is never thinking, or expecting, them to let go. First love is the time when you realise that you can't stay away from your beloved one , when you realise that you can't pass a single day without hearing your beloved ones.

The feeling of falling in love for the very first time is beyond amazing. When you fall in love for the very first time, you can't think about anything else other than your lover. Your whole world revolves around your lover.

I wasn't any exception to this . Like everyone I was also a victim of first love. Emilia never failed to leave me breathless. Her impeccably sculpted face , long ebony hair, feline eyes, thin lips were enough to set my soul on fire. I was red in her fiery love. And just like other delusional naive young boys I believed that the feeling was mutual. I believed her heart beat faster whenever I was near her just like how my heart used to beat in her presence .

But I had no reason for not believing these. I was an incredibly talented, handsome young man and every girl of my school were ready to be on their knees in front of me. Every boy used to envy me because of my looks and wealthy family.

No, I didn't want anyone to date me for my looks and money. I wanted someone to love me for me. But I thought nobody would reject a wealthy handsome boy like me.

When I asked her out she didn't hesitate to scream yes at the top of her lungs and pull me in for a deep,loving kiss. I couldn't find a proper word to describe our very first kiss. We were kissing each other like there was no tomorrow under the moonlit sky, bathing in the exquisite moonlight. It was as as if the world stopped spinning that very moment.

In order to engrave my very first love on our minds and hearts I married my first love. I didn't know engraving my name on her mind was like writing my name in the air. Useless and futile.

But every good thing must come to an end, right? That's the law of nature, you can't change that no matter how
much power you possess. So when Emilia started to show her true colours, my world started to fall apart . I couldn't believe that the one who would leave me breathless would be the one who would suffocate me to death. I couldn't believe her fiery love would burn me into ashes.

She was supposed to be mine and I belonged to her. I was always hers but she was never really mine. She wasn't the girl I fell in love with.

She was the reason for the gleam in my eyes and later she became the reason behind my glistening eyes. I felt empty, I felt numb.

No erratic heartbeats.
No spark.
No butterflies in my stomach .
Nothing.

First love is like a beautiful flower. It's appearance, heavenly smell will drive you crazy . But soon it'll wither and die but the sting of it's thorns lasts for a long period of time.