Fear and Loathing in Vvardenfell

Zainbunny's Book: Part Two

Hassour Zainzubani eyed Pip and I suspiciously. We were gone long enough to have went to the local bookstore, but not much longer and Zainsubani wasn't one to be fooled.

"Hmm, what a strange gift you've gotten me." He turned the book around eyeing the cover and the rear. "I'm sad to say I already have a copy of this book, but I appreciate the thought. Ashland Hymns, yes, it gives me fond memories of my teenage years and leaving home. Where did you find such a well-worn copy?"

I looked at Pip. Pip looked at me.

"We went next door to the bookseller guy. He was an...Imperial? Yes. We didn't catch his name though." I looked back at Pip who seemed confidently clueless to everything.

"Well, this book does look strangely familiar. My mother gave me a copy years ago. How I miss her. Anyways..." He opened the book to the absent title page. "No title page? Sad. This is a well-worn copy indeed." He leafed through the pages, taking note of passages that were underlined and the random notes scribbled in the margins. And finally to the inside of the rear cover where he was greeted by Pip's terrible drawing of a guar. "Oh! What a cute guar. This book must've been found by a child years ago and drawn in. Well..." He slammed the book closed and sat it down at the table. "Like I said, I already have a copy of this book, but I appreciate the thought anyways. You Outlanders have completed your first lesson in Ashlander customs: gift giving. You gain favor that way. I will answer your questions."

We quizzed him on the Nevervarine Cult and the Ashlander's superstitions and beliefs until he had nothing new to tell us. Sadly, Pip didn't seem to internalize any of this, and I asked him to jot it down for us. That way, as we explained, we could haul the information back to the 'supervisor' of our assignment. Despite the gift, Mr. Zainbunny seemed to be glad of our presence once we left.

We took the guild guide at the local Ald'Ruhn Mages' Guild chapter to instantly teleport us back to Balmora. I didn't ask any questions but apparently Pip was sick and tired of the entire affair and just wanted to have the quest over with. I didn't ask any questions because I felt exactly the same as Pip did, totally done with everything and questioning what the hell the whole thing was about.

And we strolled into [Redacted's] house in the late p.m. about ten hours after we initially left Balmora. [Redacted] was totally baked off of skooma as was obvious by his intense stare, jitteriness, and all around irritability to the world at large.

"You fuckers are back? About damn time. What did you find out? Did you find out anything about the assignment I sent you on?"

Pip took the question like a champ. "Yessss. We talk to Zainbunny, give him book, and he tell us stuff."

"Oh, he told you stuff? About what?! Please fucking explain, Pip, you useless sack of scales!"

"Uh. Zainbunny tell us about Nerevarine, and Ashlanders, and stuff. Other stuff. Important stuff. Things. And stuff." Pip stared at [Redacted] looking for any reply and shrugged cluelessly.

[Redacted] looked at me. "And is that it? Is that all? That's all you fuckers learned? That's all you've discovered? That's what the Emperor wanted me to employ you fuckers for? Is there anything else?!" [Redacted] looked able to leap off his bed and stab both of us within seconds with the dagger hanging dangerously off his hip.

"Well, sir, no. He gave us these notes. You see, Pip and I seemed a bit, uh, unhinged and unable to pay any attention to this Mr. Zainbunny at all. I asked him to give us his notes and writings and," I held the crumpled up papers out to him, "here they are."

He snatched them out of my hand with a speed that only a doped-up skooma addict could move his arms and skimmed over them for a tense few moments. "Well," he said, "I suppose all of this is good, no thanks to you guys that is. But, eh, yeah. It's fine. Everything is fine. Everything is great. So," he waved his hand at the air, "Just get the hell out of here and let me mull it over. I'll call you when I'm ready for the next part of this adventure." Go the FUCK away please!"