Fear and Loathing in Vvardenfell

The Next Assignment

"You heard me. What's the big deal?! A Sixth House base, and you need to go take it out. Investigate. Kill. Do what the Nerevarine should do. Cast down the false gods!"

"What is Six House?" Pip mindlessly asked.

"Damn Pip, don't you remember anything? Clyde? Anyone? Anything? Fuck me. The lost house. House Dagoth. They're the fucking bad guys here! This is what you're supposed to be doing Pip!"

"In all honesty I've been pretty drunk this entire time on this wonderful and beautiful island of Vvardenfell and can't remember much of anything, if you can forgive me," I said to [REDACTED] and received a furious look from him in reply.

He sighed and tried to regain some composure despite the skooma screaming through his veins. "Okay. Okay. Look. They're the bad guys -- this is what our research has told us -- and Pip, if you are the Nerevarine, it's your job to get rid of them. The Sixth House. Dagoth Ur! Everything! So as your first real mission, I want you guys to go check out this base. It's in a cavern near Gnaar Mok called Ilunibi. Like I said (if you fucks would've been listening), Ilunibi was recently raided by the Imperial Legion. Only one person survived and made it back to Fort Buckmoth near Ald'Ruhn. No one is sure of where Ilunibi is so I need you to talk to Raesa Pullia immediately; she's the woman in charge of the whole damn fort up there. Find out where this base is and go there. I have no idea what you'll find but I'm sure you'll find something. After that's done maybe we get on with this whole prophecy bullshit. Any questions, you pair of retards?"

Pip and I exchanged glances again. Pip finally said, "Me only get back from Ashlander camp. Me go out again? Now? So soon? Pip need rest."

Then I said, "Yeah. It's about time for me to have some drinks and go to bed. Really late -- early I guess -- and I need to think all of this over."

[REDACTED] pulled a dagger out of the waist of his pants. Apparently he had it there the entire time and was on him no matter what. I suppose it made sense, him being an Imperial spy and all, but seeing him casually remove it made matters a bit more serious for my friend and I. Despite all the skooma he still had fundamental business matters at the front of his mind.

"Look, Pip. You work for me, okay?" He said this with the calmest and most threading voice I'd ever heard him use. "And you, Clyde, Octavian, whatever the oblivion you like to go by, you're his friend, right? You two are in this together. From the words of the Emperor himself. You want your story and you don't have any choice because you listen to me now. You're wrapped up in this now. This is your job. Go to Buckmoth Legion Fort. Talk to Ms. Pullia. And you leave right this instance. Here," he grabbed his coin purse off the table next to the bed and counted out a heavy chunk of coin, "this is 500 septims. It should be enough to buy whatever supplies you need. Get everything. Divine intervention scrolls, resist curse, resist blight, resist everything spells. A new sword. A new dagger, staff, whatever. And if you don't get anything, keep the fucking money. But you two get the fuck out of here now. Stop taking this shit as a joke. Because know that if you fail to do what I've asked, the Emperor will have me jailed or killed. And before I'm taken out, I will give you equal or worse punishment. So goodbye gentlemen. I'll see you when you're done."

[REDACTED] examined and began polishing his knife as Pip and I silently but quickly stood up and left in the early morning hours toward Ald'Ruhn.