Friends - HyungKyun

12- Changkyun

It was already an hour to midnight and I was still studying for the exam I had the next day. Hyungwon had gone to a party or something which left me alone. It helped to an extent to be there by myself but mostly didn't. I couldn't call Kihyun or Hoseok to help me feel less stressed as it was too late. The room started to feel hot and stuffy and made it even harder to focus. After a few minutes of that, I decided to take a walk so I could breathe. Maybe it'd help with the stress too.

I got up from my desk and partially closed my laptop. I almost didn't grab my phone since it was so late I wouldn't want to wake anyone up if I got lost. I ended up grabbing it in case something happened and I could call the police at least. I grabbed the hoodie off my bed that was thrown there hours before. As I picked up my keys I heard the door start to unlock. I looked over forgetting about the keys to make sure it was Hyungwon. As soon as I saw his hair, I went back to getting my keys to leave.

"Where are you going so late?" The taller asked a little worry already showing in his voice.

"I'm just going to take a walk," I replied with a smile to reassure him.

"Well, then can I go with you?" Thoughts of him and I walking together late at night flooded my mind making me unable to respond. "O-or not that's okay." Hyungwon sounded a little sad as he noticed me taking a while to say anything.

"Oh no. It's okay. I was only surprised since you just came home." I said, quickly coming up with an excuse to not tell him what I was thinking.

~~~

It had been peaceful with the cool air and shimmering water. Every once in a while I would glance at the older, admiring his face in the dimly lit lamps lined up around the path. Hyungwon and I had gone to walk around a nearby lake not saying anything until fifteen minutes after we left. I was the one to break the silence when I became curious.

"Can I ask you something?" The taller, who had been admiring the moon, looked down at me as we slowed our pace a little bit more.

"Sure."

"Why did you get so emotional after I answered your question on my parents' reaction to me coming out?" Hyungwon had taken a few seconds slowing the pace even more before he sighed and stopped to lean on the railing that circled the lake. Only watching the water. "I'm sorry. Don't feel obligated to answer that."

"I don't," He paused, sighing again. "You know, it's funny how much I trust you even though we met so recently. I didn't have the most ideal reaction from my parents. When I was younger, I had a crush on my best friend and it became so much that I felt like I had to tell my parents. Turned out they were very against me liking any guy. They weren't even religious, they just hated the idea of any two people of the same gender together romantically. So, they shipped me off to my grandparents who had the same ideas. What happened there I won't go into detail about, but they did have me homeschooled to make sure I didn't try anything or meet anyone. Being there left scars both mentally and physically. Mostly physically, I've been able to work through the rest. Obviously not all the way since I cried or maybe it goes back to the trusting you so soon. I don't really know."

"Would you show me the scars one day?" I cautiously asked.

"I-I don't know." Hyungwon had started visibly becoming nervous before turning to walk again. I closely followed him wondering why he acted like that.

"So did you ever find that best friend you had a crush on?"

"No. I haven't even tried. I'm sure he doesn't even remember me by now."

"You should at least try. Maybe he's been waiting to hear from you."

"Maybe. Hey, since you asked a personal question, can I ask you one?"

"Oh, I guess." Hyungwon had been strangely right about the trust we had in each other so quickly. I still wasn't going to tell him all of my past, but I felt like if I needed to talk to someone he'd be there to support me.

"What's your deepest fear?" the taller eventually let out. It took me a minute to think about what really was the thing I feared most. "I swear I won't do anything with the information." Hyungwon suddenly defended.

"I hope you don't. I guess my biggest fear would be being left alone. Like permanently alone." I confessed.

"Is that why you haven't told Hoseok? You're afraid he'll leave?" The added questions had caught me off guard.

"I- yeah. I guess so."

"Ah okay, well we should probably get back. Don't you have that exam tomorrow?"

"How'd you know?"

"Minhyuk has the same class. I'm surprised he didn't already find you. Thought for sure Min would have started searching for you with each class to see. Then again, that could be the class Jooheon is in too. He pays more attention to his boyfriend than that class."

"Oh, yeah! I remember seeing him in the back on the first day. So that means Jooheon is the one always saying 'Let's go!' before each class." Hyungwon lightly laughed at how I remembered them. His laugh remaining in my ears as it became almost familiar.

"Yup, that's definitely him."