Hide Behind Trouble - Kellic

27. The End

I always said nothing really caused me to be the way I am, nothing traumatic, a death or something, I just overtime grew okay with that concept - myself dying - until I wanted it.

And I guess part of that is true. Overtime I did see no point in continuing, and nothing great had made me think that, other than routines and overthinking.

But back then, it was only a comfort in the concept, I was okay with it but would I actively try to do it? No.

What tipped me over the edge, I hadn't told anybody. I grew so closed off I couldn't tell people, and it hurt too much to say. I had been close to telling Vic, but that was before he cheated on me.

Another thing I couldn't wrap my head around; another thing pushing me off my hook. Normally today I'd be secluded, locked in my room refusing to do shit or by the place I first met him, but now, after what I saw, my emotions clouded my judgement.

Five years ago, my best friend died.

We met when we were five. His name was Jesse, and immediately I liked him. We talked for hours that first time we met in the woods, sitting by the creak. Everyday we met.

I told him everything; we told each other everything. He saw through my facades and knew about how I was a little too comfy with myself dying. He made me promise to stay around till we were at least fifteen, both of us thinking I'd be better by then.

But one day, Jesse stops coming. For days, he's gone. One morning, I walked downstairs and saw my mother watching the news, and a familiar redheads face displayed on screen with two adults.

It was Jesse, and his parents, who had been in a car crash. No one survived.

That was when the world fell apart, when I threw on a smile and found some friends that were down to be stupid rebellious teenagers with me. I was desperate for something to come along and kill me itself. Nothing ever did.

So I decided on 12:00 AM of January 1st, when I was 17, I would die.

I exceeded the promise I made to Jesse when we were eleven, and it was on New Years. We always spent New Years together, with sparkling cider as our own wine, making up random, immature New Years resolutions.

Vic. How could he do that? Did he not care anymore? Did he send me away so he could get with another guy?

I was unwanted, uneeded, oh, and drunk.

My legs hit the dirt over the cliff, sending tiny rocks down to the racing current. That was my death. This was how I go. Because I was emotional over some boy.

But losing Vic hurt so much more than losing Jesse. Jesse was family, I loved him like a brother. I loved Vic, too. I loved him more than myself. Maybe that's not healthy, but unfortunately, I did, and he clearly didn't feel the same.

Memories sifted through my head. Of Jesse and me, my parents, Vic, my friends, New Years, and now this.

"I guess this is it."

Three.

Two.

One.

Jump.

"Kellin!"

~the end~

~_~_~_~

im so dramatic lmaooo

the beginning is really bad
fuck it it's all bad i halfassed this

alternative ending? s u r e

but will you like that ending more than this-

doubt it

anyfuck

im crying i just realized what this means

hide behind trouble is over, techinically, oh my god

i remember the idea for this fic eating me alive until i actually wrote it. i remember promising my mom to work on hw only to write this

ugh ima cry

alrighh well ima write like 20 other chapters for dif fics now, love you <3