A Kiss Is Just A Kiss! Or Is It? ~ Alejandro Rosario

Chapter 24: Never Come Back

Death. It's hard to process. Especially when you love them. Or loved them. You think that you can call them but you find yourself disappointed and out of luck. You wish that you can forever hold them in your arms. I wish I had been there. Layla. So young and so innocent. Killed herself. Slitting her wrists and bleeding out in a bathtub. Why?

I thought that I would never see the day Layla dies. I guess not. I lay in my bed, grieving. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that Layla can never come back. 

I knew that I never visited enough but not for a moment thought that this would be the outcome. Was it my fault? 

I wanted to text Aunt Gracie but I couldn't bring myself to do it. What do I even say? "Sorry for you're loss," "Do you need help," "Can I come over." No, definitely not. 

It's been a month since Bailey moved out with Amelia. There's also one month before school starts again. A senior. Wow. 

                                                           my monkey🙈💕

my monkey🙈💕: can you hang out today 

                                                                                                    y/n: with the boys or without

my monkey🙈💕: any

                                                                                                     y/n: can we hang with them. I have news ig

my monkey🙈💕: ofc mi amor. My house

2 o'clock

                                                                                                      y/n: done. see you then bubba💖 

my monkey🙈💕: bye princesa❤

I softly smiled at my phone. It didn't last long though. No matter how hard I try to be happy, Layla keeps taking over my thoughts. I feel guilty if I'm not thinking about her. I feel as if I should give her all my time in my thoughts, because I couldn't give her enough time in person.

It's fucking crazy. I know.

I didn't feel like getting ready. It's not like it even matters. After I was informed that Layla killed herself, I realized that all life will conclude, and I shouldn't spend most of my time fussing about what to wear. It all comes to an end at some point. A sweatshirt and shorts will be fine.

I got in the car and without thinking drove to Alejandro's house. Upon arriving, I was greeted by Ale's mom at the front door. She explained where the boys were. I thanked her and walked up to his room.

Robert: Ayy y/n whats up!

He addressed me as I walked into the bedroom.

y/n: Hey Robbie

I said gloomily.

Robert: oh no

Kairi: what happened this time fucker?

Mattia: Bruh she's obviously not feeling it right now

y/n: thanks tia but I'm fine

Ale: fine?

He walked up to me and hugged me tight. I couldn't resist to hug him back. I proceeded to follow him to the bed.

Roshaun: do you wanna talk about it?

I nodded.

y/n: Layla-

I uttered. That's all I could push out of my mouth

Roshaun: Layla...

I stayed silent and kept my head down.

Mattia: y/n, it's okay

Kairi: yeah were here for you

y/n: she killed herself

Stillness. No movement, no sounds. Just pain and sorrow. They reacted like me. Not knowing what to say. 

Kairi: I-

y/n: it's okay Kai. You don't have to say anything

Ale: y/n, I wish I could say I know how you feel but I don't. I wanna take your pain and feel it so you don't have to, but I can't. All we can do is be here for you.

Robert: let us know if there is more we can do

y/n: that's more than enough

We spent the rest of the night having a good time. Hours later, the boys went home and it was just Ale and I.

Ale: I know we didn't talk about Layla all night but if you wanna talk about it I'm open to it

y/n: yeah I kinda want to

Ale: okay great. Can I ask you something?

y/n: yes of course

Ale: how did Layla, you know...

y/n: oh uh she slit her wrists and just bled out in her bathtub

Ale: oh my... damn

I simply nodded. 

Ale: come here baby

I longed to be in his embrace since I got the news. I needed to be close to him and to feel his warmth. To feel safe once again.

I went on a road trip so that's why I didn't post sorry. Also short chapter again oops. I wanted to discuss a little bit about this chapter. If you ever feel like you should give up in any way about life, I urge you to please talk to anyone you trust. You are good enough to be on this planet and nothing or no one can tell you different! I love you all soooo much. We need you here!! Have an amazing day, week, month, whatever!! Bye my loves!