Silver and Cold |h.s.|

4. Disappearance

The next few days were spent sulking and dying for Harry's attention.

He had not been happy about your antics the night he had hoped to spend with her and she had apparently been so turned off by the whole situation that she had not called your human back.

You saw this as a good thing.

He did not.

"I can't believe you!" He'd yelled that next morning after she had left.

"You have no idea how long it has been for me! I haven't been with someone in years! I finally built up the courage to have someone stay the night because I haven't had nightmares recently and you literally had to ruin it!" He was really angry with you but a small bit of you was happy to hear that he hadn't been having nightmares since you'd been staying with him in his bedroom.

Harry had looked down at you and pointed his finger at you in disappointment his eyes filled with a quiet rage.

"Bad girl Selene, bad." You had actually shrunk away from him as the waves of fury poured off of him towards you. You hadn't realized that he'd be this upset about not getting laid but you also didn't know about his past.

You didn't know that the nightmares kept him from living a normal life and that his ex girlfriend broke up with him because of it. You didn't know that Harry's relationship ended because he was so mentally and emotionally scarred from seeing his best friend, Blaze, blowing up in front of his eyes that he couldn't sleep without seeing it happen over and over again. You did not know that he hated himself for years for sending his companion into that village to sniff out bombs. He knew it was Blaze's job...but he'd hated himself just the same. You also didn't know that he had pains that ran through his leg from his hip where the bullet had hit him as he tried to run to his companion, who laid there unmoving, but was seen by the enemy and shot at Harry to kill him.

You didn't know that he chose you specifically because of the trauma to your own hip and that his therapist had asked him to get a dog to help him move on from the incident.

You had no idea.

So you laid out in the snow, glancing behind yourself to see that Harry was not in his usual spot by the window where he always keeps an eye on you. You sighed and were left wondering if this was it? Was he so mad at you that he didn't want you around anymore?

You could tell by the air that it was almost February. If you were going to leave, now would be the time to do it. There was possibly only a couple more snows left in this season and then it would begin to warm.

A part of you had hoped that you could make this work but the call of the wild was becoming something very hard to ignore. It pulled at your soul and made your paws ache for the feel of the pine needles and snowy ground. You could tell that the forest was screaming for you and it was so close.

You are trotting over to the pond by the time you even realize what it is you are doing. Your instincts are kicking in and you cannot stop yourself as you begin to step onto the solid water. The forest is just across it and you feel it's sturdiness as you continue forward.

A feeling of sadness creeps into you as you glance behind yourself to see no movement in the house. You truly adored Harry, the kindest human you had ever met, and you knew that a huge piece of your heart was reserved for only him. Had circumstances been different, had you met in summer, you are almost positive that he could have adored you too in your human form.

You envision that he would have practically drooled at your tanned skin, kissed by the sun even though you were born of winter, a trait passed down by your tribe throughout the centuries. You can see him staring into your amber eyes and pushing your long black hair back off of your shoulder as you tease him about his love for art and emerald green couches. You can see the look on his face after you kissed him, because of course you'd be the one to do it first, and he'd give you that charming, boyish smile that pulled away the tormented look that haunted his face more often than not. More importantly, you can see yourself being there for him in those nightmare filled evenings in a way that you couldn't be as a wolf, and that simply breaks your heart.