Under the Stars (Celestial Series #1)

Chapter 1

Panalangin ko sa habang-buhay, makapiling ka, makasama ka, 'yan ang panalangin ko...

Napapa-pikit ako habang sumasabay sa kanta. Feel na feel ko pa ang pagkanta na animo'y nasa isa akong concert. Sumabay pa ang malamig na ihip ng hangin na para bang tumatagos sa kaluluwa ko.

Wala nang iba pang mas mahalaga sa tamis na dulot ng pag-ibig nating dal'wa. At sana naman makikinig ka kapag aking sasabihing minamahal kita...

Ah! This song never gets old—at least for me. Bumalik na lamang ako sa reyalidad nang tumunog ang aking telepono. Tiningnan ko iyon at nabasa ang text ni Mama, hinahanap ako't pinapauwi na. Bumangon na ako mula sa pagkakahiga sa hood ng aking BMW. Bago ako umalis ay muli ko pang inilibot ang aking paningin sa aking paligid. Narito ako sa paborito kong lugar. Isang overlooking place sa Antipolo. This place has been my safe haven ever since I accidentally discovered this years ago.

I find this place peaceful so pumupunta ako rito kapag kailangan kong mag-isip, isigaw ang mga hinanakit sa mundo, sa tuwing masaya ako o dahil wala lang. Kitang-kita rin kasi rito ang buong kalangitan- which I am very fond of. Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa mga bituin pero kapag nakikita ko ang mga ito ay napapatigil talaga ako para matitigan ang mga iyon. I would sometimes stretch my hands as if I am reaching them. Kung titingnan mo kasi ay parang napakalapit lang at kayang-kaya mong abutin. It's like they're so close yet so far. I suddenly remembered someone. Someone who will forever be out of my reach. Napahawak ako sa kwintas sa aking leeg. Unti-unting bumalik ang mga ala-alang pilit ko nang kinalimutan. You just can't forget someone who has been a big part of your life. I just hope that someone's in a better place now. Bago pa bumuhos ang mga luha ko'y pumasok na ako sa kotse at nag-drive pauwi.

I was humming the same song on my way home. The ride went smooth since hindi masyadong traffic. I went inside the house and I saw my mother. I instantly smiled the moment I saw her. She's all I have and I treasure her the most. She's the only one who is keeping me sane. It's a long story and I chose not to bring back the past now. I am so done with the pain and all those bullshits—or not?

"Adi, anak you got me so worried! Saan ka ba nagpunta? You should at least tell me your whereabouts para hindi ako masyadong nag-aalala," sabi niya nang makita ako.

"Ma. I'm old enough to handle myself. You don't have to worry about me" I told her while I was hugging her from behind.

"Asus! Naglalambing na naman ang aking baby! Kumain ka na ba?"

"Si Mama talaga pa-fall! Kumain na po ako baby. Kumain ka na? Kain ka na ha? Ayaw kong nagugutom ang baby ko huhu," that made us both laugh. "Ewan ko sa'yo! I think you should get some rest, I know you're tired."

"Yeah right. Good night Ma! I love you" then I kissed her cheeks before I went upstairs. I went inside my room and did my skin care routine. I want to lie in my bed to sleep but my mind says otherwise. No matter how tired I am, I can't make myself go to sleep. It's like I'm dead tired physically but my mind is still wandering so I decided to go to the terrace and do the usual—watching the stars. They never fail to amaze me. When I was a kid, I would always try to count them but I always failed.

I went inside after a while then I found myself lying on my bed. I closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep. Argh! Tangina naman! Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses pa akong nagmura. Hindi pa rin ako makatulog. Hindi ako pinapa-tahimik ng mga alaala niya. Minumulto pa rin nila ako. When will I ever forget you? Ang hirap mo naman kalimutan! Pagod na ako, ayoko na.

A beep from my phone woke me up from my reverie. May nag-text pero galing sa isang unknown number. Binasa ko iyon at bigla na lamang akong natigilan. Putangina times infinity! Napatitig na lamang ako sa kawalan at mapait na napangiti. I am hoping that it's not him, the same person who makes it hard for me to forget and sleep at night.

"Baby, how are you? I missed you, my love."

Then suddenly, my eyes started to water. I went back to the terrace and once again looked at the stars.

Please don't see
Just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me
Reaching out for someone I can't see

For the nth time, I found myself staring at the same skies. Same feeling, different time. Same pain for the same person.

But don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears

Will that brand new ending be a good one for us? I'm in tears right now but you're not here to dance with me. The sound of silence will be the music, if ever. The moonlight's kissing my face as if it understands what I am feeling right now. The moon and the stars are the silent witness of my downfall.

And I thought I saw you out there crying
And I thought I heard you call my name
And I thought I heard you out there crying
Just the same

Do we share the same pain right now? I hope not. I hope you're happy even without me. And I pray that one day, we'll meet again when we're done picking up the broken pieces of our hearts. When we are ready to love again. And when that day comes, I hope it's still me. I hope you'll choose me, love me like you did before everything turned upside down. Because for me, it's still you. It will always be you.

Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

Under the moon and the stars, I cried my heart out. One day, I'll find my own moon and stars that will light up my dark skies. I wish it's you. My lost star.

Songs Used:

Panalangin- Apo Hiking Society

Lost Stars- Maroon 5