Anxiety | Harry Styles

Chapter 13: "you're crazy you know that?"

The next thing I knew was the tall curly haired boy picking me up and bouncing me around.
"I can't believe you're here! How did you get here?!" Harry asks pulling me a the closest couch to sit down.
"We wanted to surprise you for the last show! I'm so sick of FaceTime and phone calls!"
I can't help but have a permanent smile because Harry has one too. He is beaming and I can't help but feel the excitement he's radiating. I know we had a minor thing when we first met but we haven't made any moves since, Harry's been a really great friend the past few months we've been getting to know each other and it feels so crazy to be here and be with the person that's made me so happy.

"you're pretty crazy you know that?" he says staring at me.

He stared at me with this look, almost like I'm not real. It was all setting in for me and I could hardly believe I was here. I Hunter was in Miami, I've always wanted to travel but I never thought I'd have the opportunity to actually get out of the country. 

"I'll take that as a compliment" I tease him. 

Harry and I talk for 10 minutes before we're being ushered out of the venue. The security team says it's best to get the boys off the venue as soon as possible so we don't run into any problems with fans trying to find them. As we got closer to the exit my nerves sky rocketed. Clearly there was a crowd of girls waiting for the boys to come out and go to the buses because all I heard was screaming. In that moment I didn't know if I could do it. I don't like being in crowds let alone being the centre of attention, well I'm not the centre of attention... but I'm going to be standing right next to it and that makes me feel all kinds of things. I just hoped I'd get into the bus before I vomited, because that possibility is getting higher. 

"Hunter, act like you've got nothing to hide. The more we hide you the more the fans will get the idea that there's something going on and rumors spread so just walk like you've got thinking to hide" says one of the boys' PR. All I can think of is the crowd and the people, so I nod and give a somewhat reassuring smile. 

As we walk out all my confidence goes out the window and all I can do is walk as fast as possible with my head down. I don't want to look at a single person, i felt bad because all the boys were giving this crowd attention and saying thank you but I could bare to look up. Im not in the band so I was instructed to get on the bus first and as fast as possible and the boys will follow. I'm so overwhelmed I can't even think straight and I sit down on the closest seat to me. 

"Here" Harry says as he hands me a bottle of water 

I was in such a state of anxiety that I didn't even notice what was going on around me and I didn't even notice the boys were all on the bus until this moment. Looking up all I see is the faces of all the boys and the team looking at me with concern. A tidal wave of embarrassment washes over me. I must look like a total freak. 

"Oh god, Im so sorry. Just a little overwhelming" I say as every ones faces relax. 
"its okay love, sometimes we forget that not everyone is used to the attention" Liam pips up from the other side of the bus. 

Before I know it the bus is going and we're slowing making our way farther and farther from the arena.  In that moment I had just realized that I have no clue where we're going. As the tour just ended im going to assume that we're going to a hotel or something?

We'd only been on the road 20 minutes and we're pulling into what looks like a warehouse, for sure not a hotel. 

"Alright lads, lets get out and get you into your cars" Paul from their security says as the bus doors open. As the doors open they reveal a open warehouse with a few dozen luxury cars. In front of us are 5 blacked out SUVs, which I can only assume are for the boys and their team. 

"Listen up everyone, each lad will have their own vehicles as not everyone is going to the same places and there are a few significant other with us today." I blush at the significant other portion hoping he was talking about the other boys girlfriends. The boys start to gather up their things but not before they all have a quick goodbye. I can only imagine how eager they are to get home to their families after a long tour. But it was really nice to see that everyone knew it was only temporary they all said goodbye like they were going to see each other the next day, when in reality some where going to England and some were going on holidays. Harry and I jump in our SUV and head off.. I don't even know where off is. 

"i have a little surprise for you" Harry says as we start driving to our destination. 
"no you don't! I don't need surprises!" I object feeling slightly guilty. 
"too bad!" he teases. About 45 minutes later we pull up and I know right as we get there I know what's going on. 

"Why are we at an airport!?" I ask in amazement. 
"I have a house in LA, and I just feel like going home so that's where we're going!" Harry says excitedly. I can't even believe him! I obviously expected the Miami trip but I was not expecting going on another flight across the country! My amazement grew even more when I saw that It was a private charter flight. For once I feel excited and my anxiety is at bay, for now that is. 

"put on your seat belts we're ready for take off" the pilots voice comes through the speakers. 

I can feel myself gripping the chair arms so tight that my hands were turning white. The thought of being on an airplane that's completely not in my control, or really any ones control as anything can happen is what scares me. It's not like a car where you're on the ground and have that security, but here anything can happen and everything is unknown. I close my eyes letting my head fall back. Don't you just hate it when you tell yourself not to think about something, but because you're telling yourself that you cant stop thinking about it? That's my predicament, until I felt a warm hand sit on top of my thigh and start patting it. I dart my eyes open and look at Harry. 

"It's going to be alright, just take a nap" Harry's says as he continues to pat and and rub my leg in a comforting manor. 

I take a few deep breaths as I try to reassure Harry that I am totally fine when really I am freaking out, anxiety and place don't really go together as i'm figuring out. As i'm trying to calm down I decide to give in to the idea of sleeping. I grab Harry's arm that was loosely resting on my thigh and cuddle it with my head resting on the side of his arm and shoulder. I don't know what was going on with Harry and I but I took up an opportunity that I had. But really, could you blame me? Having someone to hold onto was just what I needed.