Falling into sick

Leave me

"Pony! Soda! Time to get up!" Darry called from the kitchen. I heard Soda groan and begin to move.

"Come on pones. You gotta get some food in you. You have track tryouts for next year right?" I nodded my head. "You sleep ok? You look pale."

"I'm fine Soda." I got up, grabbed a t-shirt and jeans and went to take a shower. Getting out of the shower I threw on the t-shirt and froze. I don't ever think! I fell back and my head banged off the wall. I shut my eyes and sat there. It could have been 30 minutes or 30 seconds, I had no idea. I didn't hear the bang on the door or Soda calling for me. I couldn't breathe. My stomach dropped like I was on a roller coaster and I felt like I was floating. Nothing was moving around me, yet everything was collapsing. My vision was blurry but not with tears, just with the lack of being able to focus. Then everything came back. Darry was standing worried and intense in the doorway, while Soda was beside me repeating something I couldn't hear.

"Move out of the way Soda," Darry touched Soda's shoulder and made his way to me. He touched my leg and my shoulder. I flinched and tried to lean away from him. "Pony! It's ok, it's Darry, Ponyboy. Let me carry you to bed again."

I pushed hard on his shoulder and pushed as hard as I could.

"No." I shook my head.

"No? No? Ponyboy? Let me help you." His voice was soft and warm. I kept pushing but he wouldn't let me go.

"Let me go Darry! Let! Me! Go!" I whisper yelled. He pulled me with one pull towards himself and clutched me against his chest. He pulled me and unknowingly got my arm in between me and him. I whimpered in pain but Darry held me tighter making the pain increase. "Stop!" I yell grabbing Soda's attention. "Stop!" comes out as I struggle to move my arm out from between us.

"No Pony, you are going back to bed." Finality in his voice. This must be confusing for him. Me being messed up in the head. Soda's attitude has changed and he looks at me with an expression that makes me squirm. They look at me like I have three heads. It's a mix of sadness, confusion, anger and an 'you scare me' look. I hate it. it makes me want to curl up and try again. "My arm!" I wiggled again.

"Sorry Pony," he says, setting me down on my bed. "I didn't realize." Darry's always rough with me. He doesn't need to be, I don't see why he is. "Hey, Pony. Look at me. I'm sorry." I don't raise my head but turn on my side, turning my head away from him. I hear him release a sigh and walk out of my room.

"I'm sorry Dar, I can't be helped. You should have just let me go." I mumble to myself as I ponder. I believed I couldn't fall asleep as I had just woken up, but exhaustion comes over me before long and I am eased into sleep. 

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