Re-emergence of a Lost Hope... (Httyd Fanfic?) (Under Revision)

Chapter 10: The Coming of Indecisive Decisions

-A Few Hour Timeskip-

  Although they were heavy, I was able to weakly open my eyes again. The first thing I was met with upon opening them was Shiba staring almost mere inches away from my face with her expression showing that she was now clearly worried. This caught me nearly completely off guard as I jolted up slightly, Shiba seemed to have taken by surprise as well as she had taken a step back after seeing that I was now awake. I was breathing heavily and slightly irregularly from pain, but it was mostly manageable. "What... what happened...?" I said fatigued while holding my right hand up to my head for a couple of seconds in reaction to a mild headache. "You... were out cold for seemingly a couple of hours. Is everything ok...? She asked unsurely while still seemingly trying to recover from whatever had transpired while I was out. I sat there silently and then looked away for a little bit from Shiba to try to hide the very little of what emotions I had left, for I needed to try and mentally recover from the blacking out experience. The way I could describe the black-out feeling is similar to is an infinitely dark and cold void of nothing. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, no seeing Heaven, Hell, or even Purgatory when being closed in by death... just infinitely cold darkness... Time also seems to be nearly nonexistent there, so any trip I do end up taking into the void, it can feel anywhere between a few seconds to almost an eternity. I breathed in and out deeply a few times before shoving it all down into the deep depths of my subconscious until I had the appropriate time to deal with it. "Yeah... I think so..." I said pretty unconvincingly while my senses started became more viable. Aside from the pain, I was still able to move my entire body mostly fine. My left arm seemed to lag behind slightly and the movement itself seemed to be somewhat unnatural, but I decided to chalk it up to me just coming out of being unconscious again as the reason. I looked up to my right to see that Shiba had sat right down next to me with her tail somewhat around me. "I don't believe that..." She shook her head with the same worried look. She then glanced at what I assumed was my left arm, to which I think she also saw it's slightly awkward and unnatural movement. "I'll try to make something to help with that arm of yours, but for now... you should get some proper rest." Shiba said while looking back at me. "You need rest too... You shouldn't have to keep stressing yourself like this. It's just not worth it..." I sighed when I had completely sat back down. She still gave the worried look but with now a tad bit of annoyance seemingly mixed in as well, to which I just slightly shook my head. I didn't deserve the help or care that I had been given... not by a long-shot, so what would make me think I would reconsider myself worthy of deserving the care now? I knew that I wasn't going to be able to persuade Shiba to think otherwise since she was still giving the same look at me, so I decided to just leave tomorrow's problems to tomorrow's me. "Well Shiba... you go ahead and get your sleep and I'll get mine..." I said while closing my eyes. "Ight... Good night Des..." She said tiredly as she laid herself down and closing her eyes, but still probably keeping tabs on me. "Good night Shiba..." I also said somewhat tiredly while laying on my side away from Shiba. I hated showing any form weakness in front of anyone, for then they would worry about me more, to which I didn't need any more of. The strange teary feeling in me eyes came back again similar to earlier when I had my solitude during Shiba's Parents Visit, but I just ignored it long enough to somewhat peacefully close my eyes and let myself fall sleep to the darkness...

The sleep merely felt like a blink as I woke up to the early morning sun hitting my face. I looked around slowly to see that I had been repositioned from laying against the cave wall to laying against Shiba herself. To which I had to admit... was much more comfortable. I also noticed that she seemed to have used one of her wings to act as a blanket for me, which also worked out pretty well. Although I this was something else that I wasn't expecting and caught me off to an extent, I didn't move this time around. Instead, I decided to just sit there and relax until she woke up. I couldn't really try to force a teleport in the condition I'm in, along with it just being unnecessary, and I don't want to accidentally wake up Shiba by trying to get up and out the normal way... so just staying right where I was currently at was seemingly my best option. Some amount of unknown time had passed as I had sat there with me then having something from the cold depths of my mind that contained the graveyard of shattered, corrupted, and forgotten memories deciding to resurface. This time... It was... someone... This memory was too broken to even remember who I was remembering, but it was one of my oldest friends that I had met back in my Monster Hunting days. Looking at it from that perspective, Shiba did remind me of whoever this old friend was a good little bit. "It's interesting how similar the two are... Also interesting to note on how I ended up meeting them being quite similar as well..." I chuckled within my mind with a feeling the pain slowly starting to come up surface once again, to which I just casually shoved it down like I've done an uncountable amount of times before and continued my train of thought. "Now that I think about it... both universes are pretty similar in general... but everything is much more tame and peaceful here in comparison to the near non-stop chaos and bloodshed of the MH Universe was..." I thought. Just as I finished the thought, I felt Shiba move slightly, which then gave a small gap that I could use to get up and out without having as great of a risk of waking her up. I slowly and quietly sat up... to then instantly felt myself falling to the ground due to an unknown factor hindering my stability. Although weak, I was able to use my psychic powers to abruptly stop my impact mere centimeters off the ground. I quietly sighed in relief and pulled myself up and out from underneath Shiba's wing, to which I then noticed what had made me unintentionally fall off balance. It seemed like Shiba had made and put... something in my left arm while I was asleep. I didn't know or remember what this was called, but I did remember it's function what it did, to which I could say that it was doing a good job. Now that I was fully standing up and had clearance, I finally stretched to loosen myself up to try to prepare for whatever garbage today could possibly bring me. After I had done my stretches, I turned around to see that Shiba was still peacefully sleeping, which made me somewhat wish that I could at least look like that I was at peace. I then casually brushed off the thought and decided to stay in the cave so I wouldn't have Shiba stressing too much about me, for I really didn't need or want her worrying about me any further. I already felt bad that Shiba had to somewhat help take care of me... but now Shiba has an egg to take care of as along with me being a problem as well. I had memory-erasing instantly come to mind as I swiftly stood up and lifted my right hand in the direction of Shiba's head to quickly start the process. The bright side would be that Shiba wouldn't have to worry about the burden of taking care and worrying about me anymore and I wouldn't have to worry about losing anyone else... "Alrighty, let's make this quick..." I thought reluctantly while readying myself. I then stood there... just staring at her with my hand outstretched. I then attempted to try to do it again, but I just stood there almost motionless once again with my hand now having its glow fading. "I don't understand... I have myself ready and everything was prepared, yet held out my hand and did nothing... What is holding me back this time...?" I thought annoyed and slightly displeased of the outcome. "Damn my strong and cursed moral compass..." I mentally sighed. It always ended up this way, my moral compass always came to slap me in the face and suggested to withdraw that plan. I've done this many times before with my morals coming up and suggesting otherwise, but I never actually had it stop me from doing so before... I eventually realized that even if my moral compass didn't stop me, I wouldn't have taken the risk of accidentally wiping any other memories in doing so anyway. A complete mind wipe is almost a literal no brainer with it taking very little effort and it relatively simple for me to pull off... but the wiping of individual memories, other adjoining memories and then creating new, believable ones to replace them is a whole different situation entirely. I decided to just let the idea go since everything was just telling me that pulling through with that plan now would only make everything worse down the line. So quietly sighed and slowly lowered my right hand along with deactivating my already weak psychic powers.