Something To Fight For

A Fresh Start

I walked up towards the highway trying not to think about what I had just done. Was I wrong for it? Maybe. Did I regret it? No. I sighed at myself for still trying to think about it. Why couldn't I just let the "grown ups" take care of everything? Oh yeah. Because I can take care of my self. And that was the last thing I had said to my group as I left them. I had left because things were just getting out of hand. Was I surprised that no one had come after me? No. Was I upset that no one had come after me? The sad truth of it is, no. I knew I needed a fresh start. I knew I could no longer keep going. Especially after what I just had to do. I don't know what made me do it but I just sat down on the side of the highway. I started picking at the grass that was in front of me like I used to do when I was younger; before any of this started. It was something I did when I had a lot on my mind. Now I see that it was nothing compared to this. I couldn't even comprehend what I had just had to do.
A car. I heard it. It was headed towards my direction but I didn't look back. I knew I should have just for survivals sake but I didn't. I felt like I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt locked up like I was in a trance that might last forever. I wasn't rather surprised when the car stopped. This could be either one of two things. These could either be nice people who took me in and gave me the fresh start I needed. Or, they could be sick, horrible people. Did I turn around to see? No. I just stayed turned around and plucked the grass. What was wrong with me? These people could kill me right now and all I was worried about were my emotional problems. How stupid of me. But could anyone blame me after what I just had to do? What I had just went through?

Finally, one of them spoke. Though, I stayed in my position, plucking at the grass.

"Who are you?" A man asked. I didn't turn around to get a good look at him. Just answered him.

"Lucy." He was seeming to grow restless with me.

"Lucy what?" I sighed and slumped my shoulders down a little more. What was I doing. I was probably scaring these people to death. That or getting on their last nerve. Here they were maybe offering to take me in and I wasn't doing anything to help myself. They could walk away right now. But I knew they wouldn't do that. They were too nice; I could tell.

"Lucy White." The man cleared his throat and walked towards me. I stiffened a little but decided that I had no reason to. He knelt down in front of me. He rubbed his chin and looked at me. It was at this point that I didn't even realize that I had been crying.

"How many walkers have you killed?" This man asked me. I sighed and shrugged but decided to estimate.

"Hundreds I guess." He nodded and cleared his throat again.

"How many people you killed?" I felt a sob come up from deep within myself. It was at that moment that I was reawakened and was taken from my trance. I looked at these people surrounding me. The group consisted of the man in front of me who I assumed to be the leader, a black woman with dreads who I thought to be just beautiful, and then there was a guy around my age who wore a sheriffs hat. He stared at me the hardest. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even hesitate to think that he was the one who told the leader to stop the car. I looked back at the man in front of me and decided to answer truthfully. Well, kind've truthfully.

"One." He nodded again and looked me straight in the eyes. He looked down to my trembling hands and then back up at me. I guess he was about to ask me one final question.

"Why?" I squinted off into the distance and felt myself getting all teary eyed again. I clasped my hands together to try and minimize the shaking within them. It wasn't working. It was at that moment that I decided that I should just spit it out to get it over with. As soon as I did that, I could forget about for as long as I wanted. Or, it would continue to haunt me. Either of those two things.
I spoke to hear myself sounding more miserable than ever.

"He was bit." The pain I felt while speaking those words was excruciating. I couldn't feel. And when I did it was a pain greater than any other. And the pain I felt for that reason, wasn't even it. I felt dirty. Like everything that happened to me was my fault. I looked at the man who was still knelt down in front of me and wondered if he could tell of my state.

"We have a camp," this man said. He looked to the boy and woman and they looked back at him. Then they all turned to me. I guess waiting for me to say something. I swallowed and immediately regretted it. It had hurt like hell due to a dry throat and the excessive crying. I didn't do anything except look up at him, grab my throat, and try to tell him that I couldn't. He nodded in understanding. I guess he could tell after all that I was in this state. He got up and extended his arm to help me up. I took his hand and pulled myself to my feet with his help. He started walking back to the car with the black woman behind him. The boy hesitated and waited until I got in the car before he took any initiative to move. When we got in, the man started the car.

"Lucy, my name is Rick. This here is Michonne, and that is Carl; my son." I nodded and then turned my gaze out to the trees. Then, we were moving and on the way to what I assumed to be their camp. Maybe this is where I'm supposed to be.