Something To Fight For

Paralyzed

I saw a bright light. The light was blinding and it kept forcing my eyes closed once again. Every time I thought I was ready to try and bear the brightness of the light once more, I failed. It frightened me that I could not keep my eyes open. But my mind was taken away from the thought of the light when I heard voices.

"I have to push the nose back into place," I realized to be Hershel; the groups doctor. Before all of this started, he was a veterinarian. He was difficult to talk to sometimes, but that was only because he reminded me of my granddad. It was still something I thought about all the time. It wasn't healthy, but Carl used to help me through. Used to. Now, he just seemed to cause me more and more pain.

Searing pain stopped my thinking in its tracks. It was coming from my nose. Then, the pain was absolutely horrible and I did not think that I could remain still or silent.

I started to hear screaming. The scream was blood curling and it sounded like whoever it was, was in agony. Who was screaming? Was it me? I had not told myself to scream, but it sure sounded like me.

"You're hurting her!" I heard. I knew exactly who it was; who had spoke those words. They had stabbed my heart with longing and want. No, I take that back. Longing and need.

Carl. The one person who meant absolutely everything to me no matter what he did or said to hurt me. The one person who I had told about the incident in the woods; about my granddad and the other thing (that I do not yet feel comfortable saying even to myself). The person who still treated me like I was strong and amazing, even after he found out.

"Carl, please. Out of the room," Hershel told him. I knew that Hershel just needed space. Plus, he wanted Carl to stop freaking out. All that was doing was probably making Hershel nervous.

After Carl was finally forced out of the room, everything was silent for quite some time. But I knew Hershel was still in there. I could hear him breathing.

"I know. I know, Lucy." He said. He was quiet after that for a few moments. I guess he knew I could hear him somehow. I just could speak. I couldn't force or make myself do it. It was like I was paralyzed. But what did Hershel know? I had not told him anything that would accumulate these words from him. Or had he somehow found out about. . . ?

My mind began to fill with terror. I felt tears run down my face. It hit me. Hershel knew I had been. . . My guess was that when he was examining me, he saw.

He knew everything. Well, minus my granddad. It killed me inside that I could not reply to him. I suddenly wanted to tell him everything and that was partly because I knew he wouldn't tell anyone. I trusted him.

"It's gonna be okay, Lucy. You're gonna be okay. You're a brave girl. Everyone here knows that." Then, he stopped talking to let those words sink in. Everyone here thought I was brave? Well this was news.

"One last thing, Lucy," he took some more time before he spoke again; I guessed he was trying to sound somewhat dramatic. Then, he continued.

"Rick said he's very sorry. And that he never intended to hurt you. And also. . . You can be with Carl." Then, I heard footsteps leading to the door. And then the door closed.