Something To Fight For

Glenn

I walked down to the plot Rick and Carl had been farming. A lot had been on my mind these past few days. Anxiety had taken over my body and I began to sweat every time I even thought about talking to Rick about Carl. It was a thought that had crossed my mind a lot and had me worried about the outcome. If I talked to Rick, I was scared he would get territorial or yell at me. By now, it seemed it was obvious that my assumption was correct. Rick and the others were keeping Carl away from me. The only separate plan I had come up with was talking to one of the only adults that wasn't keeping me away from Carl. Glenn.

I looked at everything that Carl and Rick had been farming these past couple of weeks. I guess they were planting so much to keep us having food for the winter. I looked up when I felt that someone was staring at me. It was Carl. He was standing beside Daryl and by the looks of it, Daryl was teaching him the ways of the crossbow. It was getting out of hand. You could tell that they were just throwing things at Carl to get him to stay away from me. It made me angry. I hadn't done anything, to my knowledge, to make them think that I was a bad person. I honestly had no idea why they were trying so hard. Ugh. So frustrating.

I decided with all my thinking and alone time, I would wait at least two more days before talking to Glenn about anything. But, it was going to be difficult what with Glenn being apart of the team. And I knew that they were preparing for some serious stuff that was supposed to go down. Nobody would talk to me about it for some reason. And for some reason I felt like it was because of Rick and probably because of Daryl, too. And I found it all strange that Rick was keeping me from everything, especially Carl. That was because I remember when I first got here one of the things Rick told me. He said, Alright Lucy. Carl is gonna show you around. I suggest you get to know him. You two will be bunking together. I was honestly surprised that Rick still let me and Carl bunk together. Although I guessed that was because he wore Carl out so much and waited until he was sure I was asleep before he let him come in there. And because there were no more empty cells.

The night before I talked to Glenn, I went to look out the window in our cell. I decided to calm my nerves again with a song. It was quiet but everyone was downstairs together so I wouldn't be heard. The rain was pouring outside which is the perfect kind of weather to me. I like to sing with the rain pouring down around me because it helps me go to another place. I began to sing this song that I could relate to. It was a different more softer and sweeter version of halo by Beyoncé with a totally different sound. It had a sound so different that it sounded like a completely different song.

Remember those walls I built
Baby they're tumbling down
They didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't ever gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
Copy paste is a sin, always on the run is better
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't ever gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo

When I was singing I began to tear up and eventually I subjected to letting the tears fully stream down my face before I wiped away the tear stains. I was surprised that no one had asked if I was okay because I most definitely was not. One of the only people I wanted to talk to and I couldn't. Then, I slowly began to realize why some of them haven't asked. We all have our demons. Our dog days. We all have those spells where we just feel so down that there's nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better. While I was facing these problems, some of the others had their own problems as well. Still I couldn't help but think selfishly. I wanted someone there for me. Yeah Beth was but she wasn't there all the time. We all had jobs to do. We couldn't focus on ourselves all the time.

When I got done singing, it was eerily quiet. I turned around and was about to peek over the ledge but Glenn was standing there.

"Sorry I was--"I started, but he interrupted me waving his arms.

"No it's okay. It was nice." He said. It wasn't the first time me and Glenn had talked. We had had that introduction and we talked a few times after. I was beginning to think of Glenn as a father figure. He peeked over the ledge and then turned around and walked towards me. He sat down on the floor beside me and rested his head on his knee.

"I know," he said at first, leaving me confused. But then I knew what he meant. He meant that he knew about Rick and Daryl keeping me from Carl.
I sighed and shook my head furiously.

"It sucks, Glenn. I can't even see him. What is this even about?" I asked, hoping he knew because I honestly didn't. He sighed and looked up at me.

"I don't know for sure. But Rick's all the time talking about keeping Carl safe. At first I didn't know what in the world he was talking about. But now I get it. He's talking about keeping him safe from you." I looked at him completely bewildered. What in the mother fucking hell was Rick's problem? Why did he think Carl needed protecting from me? Glenn started trying to comfort me by patting my leg a couple of times.

"Would you want to see him?" Glenn asked me, suddenly lowering his voice. My eyes glistened, my back straightened. I needed this. I needed to talk to Carl. I nodded my head excessively up and down. He smiled slightly, looked to the ledge, then looked back at me.

"Be in me and Maggie's cell tomorrow at noon," Glenn said. He got up after I nodded and rubbed my shoulder before exiting me and Carl's cell. Tomorrow would definitely be a day that I would look forward to. I just hoped that I could sleep tonight.