Something To Fight For

Hurtful Realization

As the weeks passed, everyone at the prison was becoming more tense. Me and Carl never talked after that; he was always so busy with whatever Rick had him to do that day. Glenn had always tried to talk to me at least once a day but with everything going on with the team it was difficult for him to do so.

Glenn was the one to tell me about the governor. He told me about how he had a town full of survivors. The town was known as Woodbury.

I sat in my cell today; I didn't feel like going outside. What scared me the most was that Carl never even glanced in my direction anymore. It was tearing at me piece by piece; bit by bit. I couldn't take it. But Glenn helped. He was definitely like a father to me and I was thankful that he had told me about the governor when I had been in the dark for so long.

He helped me with Carl. I was going to start giving Glenn these notes to give to Carl but that was before Carl had started to ignore me. It was almost time for Glenn to show up for our daily talk. If he wasn't here in five minutes, I knew he wouldn't be coming. When the four minute mark came around, I started crying. If Glenn didn't come I didn't think I could take it.

Beth had been so busy taking care of Judith, she rarely had time for me anymore. It was like everyone was turning on me and I had done nothing. My thoughts were stopped abruptly when a hand touched my shoulder and started rubbing in a soothing motion. I looked up to see Glenn.

"I thought you weren't coming," I said, speaking through the tears. He smiled and shook his head.

"I'm here," he replied in a gentle voice. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He hugged me back and then I drew back.

"Glenn, I need Carl. But I think he's done. I think he's done with me. I can see it every time he does look at me. But lately he's just been ignoring me. I don't know what's going on." I tried to stop crying so I could seem stronger than I truly was, but I knew that I was about to fall apart. I hoped that Glenn's words would make me feel better. If anything at least better than this.

*Carl's POV*
I walked up to Glenn's cell and was about to walk in until I heard Glenn talking to someone. And not just any someone. Lucy.

"Glenn, I need Carl. But I think he's done. I think he's done with me. I can see it every time he does look at me. But lately he's just been ignoring me. I don't know what's going on." She had said. The words she spoke had shot pain through the heart. I didn't know I had come off that cold. I ran a hand through my hair and fixed it in the right direction. How was I going to fix this? I couldn't stand to see or hear her this hurt.

She had to know. She simply had to. But I was sort of beginning to lose hope and that's why I had stopped. It was because of my dad. He had told me to stay away from her. He had said it many times during our many farming sessions.

At first, all dad had talked about was how good a girl Lucy seemed to be and how she was just probably misunderstood. Now, all he talked about was how she was a dirty, no good, teenage girl who was going to get in my head and distract me. It really pissed me off but I hadn't quite developed the balls to confront my dad about the situation yet. Plus, I knew that he was stressed about the whole governor situation.

The team was supposed to go on a run to Woodbury tonight. I was staying here because dad said anything involving the governor did not involve me. Though, I knew he was just trying to protect me with that statement. It was the nice way of saying, I don't want you to get yourself killed.

When I heard Glenn and Lucy stop talking, I walked downstairs to the eating area and started thinking. Or rather, pretended to think. I listened to my dad and Daryl talk while sitting at one of the other tables. I guess they hadn't cared to much with how loud they were.

When I heard my dad say something about this big plan of his, I listened. I listened as hard as I could. Especially the second I heard Lucy's name mentioned. Why was my dad letting Lucy go to Woodbury but not me? Something was wrong.

I wanted to go ask him why he was letting Lucy go but not be. But, I decided against it. He would get mad and probably take his anger out on Lucy. And that was something we all did not need happening.

As time edged closer for the team and Lucy to leave, I prayed that she would come back okay. As she walked out of the prison with the others, our eyes met briefly. I could see the pain and hurt in them. And all I kept thinking about was how I caused all that.

I knew she cried at night because every time I walked in our cell and my dad left, I peeked up on the top bunk to see her. And almost every night she had dried tear stains on her cheeks. How could I have done this to her? How could I have been so cruel? Was this world taking this bad a toll on me? Or maybe it was just my dad. My dad and his hatefulness towards her and my being tired of hearing it.

That was why. That was the main reason I did it; why I stopped talking to Lucy. Because I was tired of hearing my dad argue with me and yell at me about it. But now that I had thought about it, it seemed like a stupid reason to stop. She was perfect to me. And the more I thought about losing her, the more my heart seemed to shrivel up in pain.