Feeling.

It Doesn't Have To Make Sense

Noel is telling a loud story about an episode of Spongebob while everyone eats their dinner.

Bright is laughing as his nephew flies through his story with excitement, words bumping into each other messily as his mouth tries to keep up with his brain. Bright meets Rachel's eyes and notices that she's been watching him. And he realizes, suddenly, there was an ulterior motive to her invitation to dinner. He's not surprised.

She just smiles tightly at him and he returns his attention the Noel, steeling himself for whatever is about to come his way.

Once Nanon is upstairs putting the kids to bed, Bright clears his throat. "Thanks for dinner, hon," he says, leaning against the kitchen counter as she puts the last of the leftovers into the fridge.

"Follow me," she responds, leading the way to the back patio. He sits down on the wooden porch swing, and she sits down beside him, sliding to the end and leaning against the armrest so she can face him.

"What's on your mind?" he asks knowingly.

She crosses her arms, concern etched into her expression. "What's on your mind is what's on my mind."

Her voice is soft, and he feels a bit confused. He's used to Rachel prying, and he's used to her teasing him about his life. This is something different. She is genuinely worried about him. And he hates that.

"What do you mean? I'm doing alright. You don't need to worry."

She nods, watching him carefully. "Right, yeah. Yeah, I know you're alright, Bright. I… just…"

Bright shakes his head, watching his sister stumble over her words, her voice thick. "Rachel-"

"Are you happy?" she asks, looking out at her small backyard, littered with various balls and toys. "Like, really happy?"

He shrugs. "What does that even mean, Rachel? I'm good. I'm not, like… depressed, if that's what you're asking."

Finally, a small smile breaks out on her face. "I just want to know that you're not settling, or wasting time with Tine. That's not fair to you, and it's even less fair to him."

He rolls his eyes, "And of course, it all comes down to Metawin, huh? As usual? Listen, I need you to stop pushing this. It's not happening, and that's fine. I was sad, and now I'm getting over it. That's the healthy thing to do. You understand that, right?"

"This conversation isn't about Win," she says quietly. She doesn't seem offended or surprised by his outburst. "It's about you. I know I've been pushy about you two, but I love you. You're my brother. And I'm sorry that I was incessant about this if it led to you being hurt. Or her being hurt."

Bright laughs, taking in his sister's face. "Please, relax. We are okay. Win and I are going to get through this. He is always going to be important to me. And we made our own choices, and I have to believe that if you hadn't set us up on that first date, we'd still be in this very same spot. This is not on you."

Rachel nods, the corner of her mouth twitching into another smile. "Yeah, probably."

He reaches forward, nudging her shoulder. "You only sped the process along for us."

With that, she rolls her eyes. "Tell me about Tine."

He wonders how to answer this. He knows she loves him, but she also loves Win. She probably doesn't know where she's supposed to stand now that things are a bit of a wreck. She raises an eyebrow at him.

"Hello… I asked you a question weirdo. Seriously, I'm not being rude… I honestly want to know about the new man in your life."

Bright leans back and sighs. But then he starts talking easily with his sister about his life, and he settles back into the comfort of having a sister that doubles as his best friend.

Bright finds himself falling into a disheartening pace. He feels a little empty, a little lost. Unhappy with everything, unable to put a finger on what bothers him the most. He tries to logically pick apart his life and find what's wrong but he can't.

Deep down, he knows the root of it all leads back to a giant bunny rookie that entered his life months ago.

He knows that it's that one pair of eyes he can feel on him during parade when Win thinks he's not paying attention.

He knows it's the boy that has him listening to gossip more than he once did, just trying to see how Win is doing these days without having to address him directly.

Bright tries to remember a time that anyone ever made him feel this way-he can't. This is why he spent so much of his life alone, detached.

Bright finds himself thinking a lot about that one time, fourteen years ago, when Rachel experienced an agonizing breakup. She spent a week at Bright's apartment, utterly broken, unable to go back to the home that she once shared with someone she thought was her soulmate.

Bright didn't know what to do or what to say. He found himself trying to make lame jokes-his go to when it comes to a broken hearted Rachel. She kept telling him that she didn't need him to try to make her feel better, and that the healing process would take a long time. He just didn't understand how he was supposed to watch his sister go through this.

He took pride in knowing that he'd never have to go through that kind of pain. Until now.

When Rachel had been at her worst, she still looked at things very logically and thoughtfully. About a month after that big breakup, she had said something that always stuck with him for some reason.

"I miss Ohm. Like, every day. But I also want to look back on what we shared with love in my heart, because he changed my life for the better. And I'd hate to be bitter about that now. My heart is able to heal, and if he ever needs a friend, I want to be there for him."

"How could you do that, pups? He broke your heart. How do you get past that?"

She shrugs. "You just do. Everyone is living their own life, they have their own stories. So, what? Turns out he's just a few chapters of my book, they were beautiful chapters. I'm not going to rip out the pages or burn the book altogether."

Her words struck him. She was always the strongest person he had ever met, and he was so proud to call her his sister.

Now, flash forward fourteen years and her words still inspire him. It's her words that lead him to the locker room early that Wednesday morning.

Win is brushing his hair when Bright walks in. Gun notices him first, and he nudges Win's side.

"Ow! Gun-" he cuts himself off when he looks up at Bright. Win smiles tightly at him, and gives Gun a nod. His friend walks out of the locker room quickly, and then it's just Bright and Win.

"Hey," Win says awkwardly. All Bright can think is that he'd never burn their chapters, no matter how much it hurt, because Win's friendship saved him from something even he can't understand.

"I miss you," Bright says, and he has to fight back a wince at how lame he sounds. "I mean… you're my friend. I want us to be friends always. So I want us to try to get back to that."

A smile pulls at the corner of Win's lips, but he swallows it. He leans back against his locker, and takes a deep breath.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I, uh… I'd like that," Win stammers. Then he rolls his eyes, smiling as his cheeks go pink. "Sorry, I'm just happy to hear those words."

Bright nods. He's more than happy to see Win's smile directed at him again. It's been so long. He shoves his hands in his pocket. "Yeah."

"Cool," Win says on a laugh. "Um… so… I'll see you in there?" he asks, pointing at the door. He means parade, of course, which starts in three minutes.

Bright chuckles awkwardly. "Cool," he repeats. He raises an arm, gesturing for Win to exit the locker room first. Win gingerly steps past him, leading the way to parade. He finds his seat beside Saint and he leans against the window in the back. And that's enough for now.

To be continued.