"Stop eye fucking me. I am not King," he mutters through clenched teeth, venom dripping with every word.
* * *
Pauline is a confident young lady who thinks she has everything she needs-a good job, a house of her own, a car and a man willing to do an...
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° Will you get married to Pauline? Yes, I will. I can't imagine spending the rest of my earth years with another female.
° If yes, how many kids?Names of kids? I can't answer that without consulting my future wife, it's a couple's decision (winks)
° Why didn't you tell Pauline about Chi, why keep it from her even when you saw how worried she was? (sighs) At first, there was no reason to tell her. We barely saw each other and the last time I checked, she was still with her boyfriend so it made no sense to start introducing her to my sister without knowing her well enough.
(Clears throat, unclenches fist) Errrr... Then things progressed really quickly. King happened, finding out about the cheating. My head was spinning from the information overload, trying to process everything without holding it against her and it seemed more than enough reason to hide Chi's identity from her. I don't know...
(Weave fingers into beard, pull a strand) It was stupid of me to do that and I can't give any reason good enough for my actions. I let my fears and insecurity guide my decision. I was an asshole like Ifunaya used to say but I'm glad that phase is behind us. We are happy, even more in love with each other, which is all that matters now.
° How did the thought of losing Pauline make you feel? (Freezes. Closes eyes and exhales slowly) I don't think I can answer this without goosebumps crawling up my arms again.
(Voice cracks, eyes open) The thought of losing her? Goodness. It made me feel terrible. Angry. Sad. Bitter. I couldn't stop blaming myself. If I had told her about Chi earlier, we wouldn't have had that fight, she would have been home with me. All that happened, I was to blame for it and Chi wasn't letting me off easy, she spelt out my faults every little chance she got.
I felt lost. For the first time in a long while, I was scared. I didn't want to be forced to live in a world without Ify. A world where she wasn't there to give me attitude or push me to do more for myself. Goodness. I love that woman, the thought drove me insane but I am glad everything is fine now. We are doing much better, my relationship with my father is taking the best turn, thanks to her.
° That moment Pauline asked the question:who are you?can you tell us the emotions you felt? There were a lot of emotions which I don't wish to remember now but it was like experiencing heartbreak all over again. I have had my fair share of heartbreaks but nothing prepared me for that question.
After the shock washed over me, anger took over. Anger at the doctor for failing to mention that her memory was bad so I could have at least prepared myself. Anger at myself for risking everything to save her only to be forgotten. I was now a stranger to her. Do you understand what that means? My initial fear returned, it was like losing her all over again and goodness, it hurt. It hurt then and it hurts now to think about it.
