losing him | billy hargrove [#2]

nine

"You drew memories in my mind
I could never erase
You painted colors in my heart
I could never replace."

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The television was on, white noise coming from it and the view was just black and white. The kind of view you would usually hate and you'd punch the tv a few times to get it to stop, but right now we needed it. Eleven needed it. She needed it to focus, like she was doing right now.

She was breathing heavily. The black blindfold covered her eyes and part of her nose, but I could still see the blood coming out of it. I had never witnessed this before, her searching for someone. Her breathing became even heavier and then she pushed the blindfold off, her eyes opening wide. She was back.

"What's he doing now?" Max asked.

"He's in his room. Doing nothing," Eleven said. She stood up and breathed out, walking to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. She must be really exhausted with all of this happening. I shared a look with Max as we thought the exact same thing.

"And that's not normal, right?" Nancy checked. She was standing on the right side of the television with her arms crossed over each other.

"Billy staying in his room on the Fourth of July? No, that's not normal," Max answered.

"Him staying in his room at all isn't normal," I said softly. I remember he once told me that he was always out doing something or going somewhere because that house held nothing but bad memories for him. He didn't want to be there too much because then he started to think more and it would eventually crush him.

"He wasn't us to find him," Will realized. Or, we all realized it.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. If we go to Billy, then the rest of the flayed know where we are," Nancy explains herself.

I looked at my hands when she spoke his name again, looking at the small ring on my finger. The promise ring Billy had gotten me on the day we graduated. He promised me that he would love me forever and always and that he would one day trade it for a real engagement ring. It seemed that all those promises had gotten unsure of being kept the moment he was flayed.

Suddenly, I felt a big wave of sadness coming over me. The changes of me and Billy still going to college together were slim to none and I couldn't wrap my head around it. I couldn't accept that our ending was getting nearer. He had to make it. For me, for him and most importantly, for us.

"We won't be surprised. We'll know that they're coming and we will kick their flayed butts," Lucas broke my thoughts for a moment.

"You mean El will kick their flayed butts," Max corrected him.

"It's too risky," Mike said.

"Yeah, and unnecessary," Nancy agreed. "Killing the flayed won't stop the Mind Flayer. We have to find out where it's spreading from. We have to find the source."

Killing. Where they really willing to kill Billy if the time came to it? I knew Max wasn't and I knew I wasn't, but the rest I wasn't so sure about. They all had their reasons to dislike them, because he had been an asshole. But they couldn't possible kill him.

"Hasn't he told you anything?" Lucas asked, looking at me. All eyes were focused on me and I couldn't help it but let the few tears that had gathered in my eyes fall. Max was the first to notice how sad I actually was.

"Grace, are you okay?" she asked me softly.

"Grace?" Nancy also said. I looked up and saw her sitting down next to me. She grabbed my hand.