Blind and Bereft

Chapter 45 | Ashes Eat Away Frost

Jingrui had waited for Prince Zhanying amidst the cover of the murky sky for many hours, and at last, he stepped foot out of the hall. His face was stone cold—somehow colder than he normally was. He did not spare a glance at her or Xiao as he walked away towards the pine forest. A profound fury emitted from him, and Jingrui didn't dare to surge to his side.

"What's wrong with him?" She watched him disappear within the shadows of the pine forest.

"The Phantom Lord probably pissed him off," Xiao remarked as he slouched back against a tree trunk. "Why don't you go after him?"

Just as Xiao finished his words, the sky turned grim as if it were influenced by the God of War's wrath. Whiffs of wet dirt and old paper parchment entered her nose as she took a deep breath. A storm was coming.

"I'll go look for him." She sighed, giving in to the fragment of care that was slowly vying over her heart.  With that, she left her Senior into the forest of pines.

As she wandered around, trying to find the presence of the high deity, the grey velvet clouds rumbled like a roar of a wild beast. Rain began to patter drop by drop—steady but bitter. Her clothes were soon soaked, and she tilted her head towards the graphite sky, letting the cold water cover her skin.

How furious was Prince Zhanying?

Jingrui approached a clearing that opened up to a cliff. The landscape of her hometown laid below the torrent of rain and standing in front of her was the soaked figure of the Prince. He looked out sternly at the yearning distance, and although he had sensed her presence, he didn't turn to her.

Jingrui took a sharp breath and advanced to his side. The freezing rain and his presence fretted her skin as the tension clung thick. And at his silence, she could only shuffle on the spot in discomfort.

Water droplets ran from strands of the Prince's dark hair and fell into the sludge below his feet. His body was frozen like the rain as his voice rolled out, breaking the silence. "Do you know what I've always dreamt of while living within the Heavenly Palace all these long years?" he asked her, his voice almost inaudible.

Jingrui shook her head as she couldn't find her voice to give a reply.

Prince Zhanying chuckled—a croaking and bitter chuckle—before placing a hand over his face. "I dreamed of a day when I will see these landscapes. I dreamed of a day when I will see the world filled with colours, and joy, and life." His voice cracked as he turned to her. "The flashes of the past and of this so-called 'colour', haunts me like a desirous nightmare."

There was no vulnerability on his stone-cold mask. Not a single shred of sadness within the shield of his arctic barrier. Yet his eyes wavered as if in pain. "Love blinds you. The sentiment is pathetic. But who could have thought that it would have become a weapon against me today. . ." he took a deep breath, as he lowered his voice. "Do you know how I went blind, Bao Bao, how my days become an eternal abyss?"

Jingrui stared at the puddles on the ground as she didn't know how to answer. She was never good at comforting others, and she could only hope that her presence and her company was enough to lessen the grief within his heart.

Seeing as she was not answering, he took a pained step towards her. When her gaze met his, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him that he should stop masquerading the vulnerability within him. As someone who had known loss, she knew not to shield herself from emotions. The reason she still lived with joy and life after the trains of bereft was because she never bottled up her sorrows. She had let them all out because only then, would she be free.

Crying is better than perfunctory laughter because it means that they still hold feelings like a real person.

His voice was so soft that it could pass as the wind. "It was a long and yearning night. But it held so many colours. I saw the stars and the full moon. I saw the flicker of flames and the steam that rose from the teapot. That night was the day I ascended as the God of War and brought victory from the war between the Celestial Tribe and the Demon Tribe.

"Empress Dowager Lingyue was displeased and boiling with jealousy. She felt Yihuai's throne was terribly threatened, and she was determined to harm me for good. Because of that, my mother needed to protect me from her. Only if I made a big sacrifice and stepped back from the throne, would I have been able to live in peace. . ." he trailed off into a deep chuckle as if to bury away any grief within him. "That night, my mother blinded me."

Jingrui's breath was caught in her throat. Her body went numb from the cold rain and from Prince Zhanying's words. For some reason, anguish wavered her heart, and she let out soft sniffles. "Your Highness must be sad."

He laughed at her words, but it was not a laugh of amusement. "I know she did it to protect me like she had always done in the past. But each time she protected me, a part of me was devoured by the abyss. And now, I can never dream of being able to see again. You see, Bao Bao, I can never cure my blindness. The Jade Fruit of the Jade Dragon Mountain cannot defy this predestined fate."

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