Blind and Bereft

Chapter 79 | Colourless Void

Jingrui was drained of strength as she slumped her way back towards the Floating Abyss Palace. Dried tears stained lines over her cheeks. Her eyes hung from their sockets, red and swollen. Blood trailed by her feet as she walked into the towering gate.

The palace was no longer welcoming her, and as she walked into the inner courtyard, she knew she no longer deserved to step foot within it. She had hurt Prince Zhanying, and now, even his bodyguard had died because of her. Within this world, this was a place that would never welcome her again.

Even knowing that, she wanted to see him once more. To look upon his dark eyes and his smile; she wanted to see him.

Breathing in the fresh morning air, she let the peach blossom fragrance from the midst of the courtyard intoxicate her. Her eyes scanned around the familiar compound, intaking every intricate detail into her mind. She needed to forever remember the colours of the Palace, and the beauty of every touch, because she knew that the colours of her world were soon to wilt into an abyss.

Her eyes were sizzling as Lingyue's poison took its effect, and she knew she must see him. She needed to see him. One last time.

Her palm clutched onto the golden lotus seed which she wrapped around a paper. She heaved herself towards his chamber and stood in front of the door. The breeze blew past her as she remained there for a time, reminiscing the past. At long last, she brought her trembling hands to the door and slid it open.

Prince Zhanying was sitting in his regal position. Filled tea cups laid on the table, but the steam had already gone cold. Against the floor were scattered Wei Qi boards which he had seemed to give up playing. He didn't flit a gaze at her as he laid the tip of his fingers against his forehead.

As Jingrui took a few steps closer, she realised his complexion had become haggard. His lips were pale, and his eyes lacked life. He was dying.

And she was the cause of it.

Her breath hitched when he lifted his gaze up at her. They were as bleak as the night, sawing through her skin. She shivered beneath them but refused to back away.

"Get out." His words were adamant, but his eyes wavered with pain as he skimmed her cuts and wounds.

Her lips quivered, and she gulped down the lump in her throat. Refusing to obey him, she took a step closer. "H-He's dead," her voice tumbled out, and she sniffled as she held out the seed wrapped in paper. "He's gone."

Prince Zhanying stared at the seed in her palm, and his eyes became engulfed in the cruelest winter. His fists clenched as he pushed himself to stand. Swaying towards her, he snatched the seed from her palm. Every inch of him stiffened as he scanned down at the glittering seed, and as if that was too much for him to take, he broke into a coughing fit.

Jingrui's face drained pale. His crestfallen form could barely stand straight, and Jingrui rushed over to hold him upright. He shot her a gaze, threatening her to stay away. Ceasing his cough, he brought his hand over his lips to wipe off the bloodstains.

As if vulnerability maddened him, fury overtook his cold eyes as he penetrated them into hers.

Jingrui went rigid. "Y-Your Highness. You are—"

"Leave me. I don't wish to see you." His face darkened, and his jaw clenched. The dark circles beneath his eyes reflected his agony.

Jingrui shook her head as she glued herself to the spot, refusing to leave. "I-I didn't mean to stab you. I didn't mean to. . ." Her breathing quickened, and she roamed through her sleeve before pulling out the antidote bottle. "Here. I-I have the antidote, I didn't know that the blade was poisoned, I didn't mean to hurt you—never. Please take the antidote. . ."

He shot her a bitter glance as he took steps towards her, making her inch back. His hair fell on his face, and a deep chuckle scraped out of his throat. "I once loved a rose, and I gave everything to keep it in bloom. I loved it so much, but who could have thought that it would be covered in thorns."

Jingrui sniffled, and for the first time, she understood his riddles. She set her jaw and grabbed his palm before placing the bottle of antidote in it. "I know I have hurt you, and you don't need to forgive me for what I've done. But please, please just take the antidote."

He looked at the crystal bottle, and then, without sparing a thought, he let it fall from his palm. Jingrui gasped, and before it hit the ground, she caught it in time. A wave of pain took over her heart as she peered up at his towering figure.

He cocked his head to the side. "Do you think that by doing this, I would forgive you?"

She never wished him to forgive her.

He tilted his head towards the ceiling. "I don't need what you give me. I don't want anything more from you. I don't want to have anything to do with you." Any sign of emotion was robbed of his face, but he refused to look down at her. "What more do you want from me? Now, even my bodyguard had died for you. Leave me now or otherwise I'll make you regret. I am tired now, Jingrui."

Her breath caught in her throat. Prince Zhanying had never once called her Jingrui.

All the suppressed pain within her hit her at once, and she sobbed as she broke down into a cry. Her body slumped against his feet, and she tried to wipe her runny tears with her sleeves.

She hated how he called her Jingrui and how it rolled off his tongue filled with angst and bitterness. Like a blade, it cut her heart until she bled. She liked the sweetness she felt when he called her Bao Bao, and she missed how soft it rolled off his tongue. But she knew that within her life, they could never go back there again.

She felt a shaking hand reach towards her, but it must have been her sheer imagination. As she looked up, he was still standing over her with a stern expression.

His eyes wavered, but he did not spare her a glance. "Courtesy to our pasts. . ." He swallowed, and he kept his eyes cold. "You . . .You can stay in the outer courtyard." His words were rigid, like bricks that fell upon her soul.

She watched as he spun his long hanfu away, walking towards the curtain. She clenched her fists and quickly wiped her tears. "Zhanying," his name rasped out of her throat.

He paused in his step, and his body stiffened. For the briefest moment, he turned around to her. His dark gaze lingered for less than a second, but even then, she had intaken all the details that graced him. She watched him as he disappeared behind the curtains and into his chambers.

A sorrowful smile came over her face, and tears slid down her chin as her sight was engulfed in a colourless world.