Blind and Bereft

Chapter 71 | Stab in the Heart

People meet and part, the moon is full and wane; life can never be perfect.

Jingrui clutched onto the knife given to her by the Goddess of Beauty as she heaved herself through the alleyways of Heaven.

Xiaobai was dead. She was killed by the one Jingrui loved most. She was killed, and yet, there Jingrui was, alive and freed.

Forgive but never forget.

Jingrui didn't know if she could forgive. Could she forgive someone who killed an innocent soul without batting an eyelash? If a person's heart could be so cold and adamant, then how could they be capable of love?

Within Heaven, there was no safe haven. There was no one she could trust. Within Heaven, the only person she should care for was herself. In a ruthless survival field, there was no such thing as comrades, no such thing as beauty, and no such thing as love.

Her feet instinctively took her back to the Floating Abyss Palace. Could she still live with her best friend's murderer, love him, and pretend as if nothing had happened? Her heart pierced with raw pain as she walked into the inner courtyard. The Abyss held no more life. It was just another cold shelter within the Heaven of Hell.

Thunder roared, and lightning flashed in the sky overhead, foreboding a storm. By the time she slumped back into the inner courtyard, she could see Prince Zhanying paced his quarters, and her heart pounded dully. She wanted to smile and run into his embrace, but when she thought of how his name was covered in blood and that he walked a path lined with corpses of those he had slaughtered, her limbs stayed heavy by her sides.

Prince Zhanying spotted her, and pain took over his eyes. In a flash, he was before her. The familiar scent of Nag Champa entered her nose, yet it didn't comfort her soul.

Before Jingrui could muster up her words, he pulled her into a yearning embrace. Her breath hitched, and her posture stiffened. And within his embrace that felt utterly cold, tears slid down her chin. With all her strength, she pushed him away and broke free. For some reason, he didn't have any strength to hold her back. His eyes wavered with a deluge of pain as he tilted his head to the side, unable to understand why she would push him away.

He should know why she had pushed away.

The love in her heart for him was raw, but the happiness she once had with him seemed like a drunken affair.

She cherished her bond with Xiaobai just as much as she did with her sister and master. She was never one to forgive. From the beginning, her very soul burnt for vengeance. And now she was torn apart by right and wrong; and the love could crumble any boundary of reason.

Her breathing laboured as she stepped away from him. Her teary eyes stared into his, and she found it difficult to hold her gaze. He reached for her again, longing laced in his every breath.

Jingrui pressed her lips and shook her head. "Don't touch me."

He clenched his jaw and pulled his hand back. "Why?"

"You ask me why? Do you really not know what you have done?"

"I have never hurt you, Bao Bao." He lowered his voice as he took a step forward. "In front of Yihuai, I could only pretend that I am cruel, but in the end, I didn't hurt you. I would never hurt you."

"I know you won't hurt me. But your pretense of cruelty had hurt others. Do you expect me to pretend too? To pretend as if you've done nothing? To smile and live on with you as if nothing had happened?" Anger flooded her, and glassy layers of tears formed in her eyes, blurring her sight of him. "I know you won't hurt me, but I also know that you are someone who would slaughter a house of innocence for the sake of your own survival."

"I don't understand," he muttered as he reached for her and wiped her tears with his thumb. She instantly stepped back, afraid of the strength that convulsed within his fingertips. He furrowed his brows, his face darkened. "Yes, I was someone who would slaughter a house of innocence to survive, but now I don't—"

"So, you admit." Jingrui cut him off before he could finish his sentence. Her words simmered as she clenched her fists, her knuckles turning white.

"That was in the past. But you know well that no matter what I was, right now and forever, I will always protect, and I would never hurt you." He took a step closer and placed his hand at the back of her head, pulling her towards his chest. "I know you are hurt because of Yihuai, right? And you are tired, that's why you are spouting these things? I will heal you and take you to rest, don't feel sad anymore."

Jingrui sniffled as she stayed in his warm embrace for the briefest moment, her tears staining his hanfu, before she forcefully struggled to move from his grip. A wince came over his features, but he quickly concealed them and wound his arms tighter.

A sob choked out of her throat. "Let go of me."

"Bao Bao" Every strand of his voice was strained, and he refused to let her go. "Why won't you trust me? I would never hurt you. Even if I had hurt others, I would never hurt you."

"But you are hurting me." Her voice cracked out, and she shook her head. "Let me go."

Pain filled his impenetrable eyes. "If I let go of you, where will you go?"

"Doesn't matter. Just let me go." She began to struggle against his grip, only for his hold to tighten.

"I won't let you go."

Jingrui bit her lips, and with all her might, she pushed him, and he stumbled back as if he didn't hold any strength to restrain her. The glimmering knife given to her by the Goddess flashed out of her sleeve as she held it towards him.

Prince Zhanying looked at her fearful stance and the shaking knife in her grasp. His face darkened as he took steps closer, fearing not even the sharp edge of the knife.

Jingrui's hands grew clammy. "Don't come any closer. I-If you come, I'll stab you."

He cocked his head to the side, strands of hair fell onto his face, but he didn't stop walking. "Will you?"

A raw gush of emotions hit her like a ferocious wave. "I will," her voice croaked from her, and it didn't sound like hers. The raw fury was uncontained within each syllable, the seeking for vengeance and justice filled her. On the spur of the moment, it wasn't about what her heart wanted, it wasn't about how much the love burnt. It was about what was right. Her sole dug into the ground to keep herself from dropping to her knees.

The man before her was the one who had killed Xiaobai. The man before her was the one who would slaughter a house of innocence if it meant his game would continue.

And as he took a step closer, fear and fury pumped her with impulse. Wild and unrestrained, controlled by the hatred and grudge in her heart like a puppet, she launched at him. The tip of her knife pierced into his chest. As if all the flowers within the world had withered, and the season had paused at an infinite winter, he shot her a scorching look, eyes deep in pain.

"Why?" His voice croaked out, bitter and fiery. "Have you ever trusted me?"

Jingrui gasped, and the knife dropped to the ground. She took a few steps back, and the fire in her extinguished. "W-Why didn't you fend for yourself?" Her body broke into a frenzy, and she didn't know what she ought to do, nor did she even know what she had just done. She spun away and broke off into a run.

She had stabbed the one she loved most in the heart.