Adopted by Larry (Book 3)

Chapter Four: OH NO HE DIDN'T

Don't you just love the title? xD OKAY HERE WEE GOOOOOOOOO *peter pan voice*

Lucas' POV

"WHO THE FUCK DID THIS!? TELL ME RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE AND REDO THE CHAINSAW MASACRE!"

Louis is taking my beating really well.

Kaitlyn brought me home a little less than thirty seconds ago and I wobbled all the way here as she helped me limp to the mansion and well, this was the reactions...

"Calm down, Lou, we need to find out what happened first!" Harry tries to reason with Dad who is now kicking over a lamp, flipping over the coffee table, punching the couch pillows, grabbing a knife from the kitchen and then taking a potato and stabbing it repeatedly.

"SAY ELLO TO MEH LITTLE FRIEND!" Louis shouts in a weird voice, stabbing the potato again and again and then he takes the potato and chucks it out the window, storming outside and grabbing his footy ball, kicking it, stomping on it, and headbutting it into the woods by the creek. Goddamn, Lou.

Then he comes back inside and pants heavily, sits down, and smiles innocently. "Now, WHO IS THIS BITCH WHO DID THIS TO YOU!? HUH!? WHAT'S HIS NAME!? I'LL PERSONALLY ESCORT HIS ARSE BACK TO GUATEMALA AND MAKE 'EM CHANGE THEIR NAME TO JAUNITA TO LIVE WITH ESKIMOS!"

"Um, darling, Eskimos don't live in Guatemala." Harry says gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Does it look like I give a fuck about where Eskimos live, Harold? NO. SIT YOUR ARSE DOWN, FROG FACE."

Harry shuts his mouth, sitting down. No one messes with the Tommo when he's angry. Not even his own husband. Louis takes shit from no one. Even the Queen bows down to him.

"Dad, it's okay...they're just pricks." I try to reassure.

"YEAH, PRICKS THAT NEED TO BE SENT TO THE ER WHEN I'M DONE WITH THEM! THEY'LL BE DIGGING THEIR OWN GRAVES CAUSE THIS BITCH AIN'T DOING THAT WORK FOR THEM!" It didn't work.

"Sweetums, you need to calm down and take a deep breath, okay? Let LuLu tell us what happened before we go stabbing potatoes and sending kids to Guatemala and the ER." Harry says so nonchalantly.

Louis pouts, mumbling, "And digging their own graves..."

"And digging their own graves." Harry quirks a smile, kissing his forehead. Louis blushes, sucks in his lips, looks down, and then regains his composure. He cracks his knuckles, neck, then clears his throat, pretending to be manly before sitting down on the couch next to Paps and they both look at me intently.

Crap, how am I supposed to tell them a kid beat me up for them being gay? That would not end well. I bite my lip, sinking into the opposite couch, feeling like I'm about to be interrogated. Anna, I could really use your help right now. How did she deal with these two idiots? Probably, knowing her, a banana, Nina, and a frying pan.

"Okay, tell me what happened right now. Either way, I'm sending that kid to Guatemala." Louis states seriously.

"Okay..." I clear my throat. "He uhm...found out...in his words, I have "faggot fathers", and he needs to "beat the gay disease" out of me because I'm probably already "infected"," I trail off, looking down. I do not dare meet their eyes because I can't bare to see Harry cry and Louis stab another potato.

"....Okay, I say we mantain a perfectly calm and maintain order while we contact the school and-" Harry pauses. "Louis?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHGH ARGH ARGH TAKE THAT! AND THAT! BITCH! HOMOPHOBIC PEACH MUFFIN! I'M GONNA TAKE ME GUCCI PURSE AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP HIS ARSE HE'LL FEEL IT COME OUT HIS NOSE!"