The Eccedentesiast

Chapter Seven

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Chapter Seven
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"I hope you know . . ."

"Know what?" Emma inquired. She held onto the railing of the bridge and leaned over to look down at the river that flowed under the structure.

"You're useless."

Emma froze. She shook—a part fault of the cold, but the other because of what just left her best friend's lips. It was a confession--no, a reminder and a fact. She said it like it wasn't already imprinted on the inside of Emma's skin.

"Wh-What?" Emma stammered. She slowly turned to face her friend, struggling not to let herself go and fall into the water.

Her blonde hair blew in different directions as the wind caressed it from the root to her split ends.

"Why would you say that-"

"Oh. You know why." The blond waved her hand dismissively in the air before walking towards the edge of the bridge where Emma stood in partial fear and utter confusion.

"I-I don't," Emma mumbled, looking down at the ground as her eyebrows farrowed. She stepped away from the railing—worried she might do something she can't come back from.

The blonde friend glared at Emma. "You know why," she spat.

Emma slowly shook her head, now looking into her blue eyes. "Stop it," she begged. Her voice was shaky, scared, lost. Her teeth chattered and the noise almost ticked the blonde off.

"Stop what? Giving you what you deserve?" The blond laughed and shook her head in disbelief. "You're so stupid."

Emma's vision blurred, the lights that followed along the sidewalks down the highway were brighter than before—spotlights.

"Please," she whispered. Emma didn't know what got into her best friend. She's never cried in front of her, and she wasn't thinking about starting now. This must be a careless joke. "Stop."

"It's such a shame that you'll never have someone to call yours, isn't it?" She looked at Emma's pleading stance. "You'll never be able to love anybody. You're such a coward, you self-harmed for two years and didn't tell me until the eighth grade." She went on, "I was so sick of your shit!" she yelled and turned in place as if looking for something she dropped. "I tried helping you! I tried everything! Nobody will ever love you! Even you believe that, Emma." She shook her head, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes but never falling.

"You once told me that it was better to die than to speak. You always told me about how you were so afraid of love and all that shit. Afraid of failure and dying because of someone other than yourself. I feel so insecure around you, Emma!  You're perfect!" She waved her hands at her own body before waving them down Emma's.

Emma hugged herself, hiding her body. It was far from perfect and nothing would change her mind. She felt awkward and uncomfortable all the time. It was absurd.

"Do you think I can just control this!?" Emma yelled back, her voice cracking from emotion. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Okay? I tried apologizing but you always told me to stop. I promised I would stop cutting. That I would do it for you!" Emma pointed a finger at her. "You're my best friend," she whispered. "You're supposed to make me feel loved, and worthy and not threaten to cut me off if I do one little thing wrong that you don't approve of."

"Nobody ever will," she interrupted her, trailing off as she talked to herself. She walked towards Emma and then shoved her to the ground. "You just get me so mad all the time. No wonder why Luke moved away! He and I have been trying to take you out of the group for months! Do you think we wanted to be friends with a girl whose father is a damn rapist!?"