Consider it a Welcome

Chapter 11: I really can't stay

"You know when the door bells rings part of me hopes it will be some kind of anthropomorphic animal with a toaster" Phil laughed, re-emerging with wallet in his hands, a hint of blush still clinging to his face and the splash of cold water he'd tried to throw over himself after Dan accused him of making a move. Instead of facing the accusation he'd dashed off, face burning like a pancake he'd made last year, straight to the bathroom with heart pumping. After waiting a few moments and deciding it was safe to come out he creeped from his hiding hole he saw the pizzas hastily dashed across the table and dan shoving his feet into shoes, car keys in hand and coat half hanging off one arm. "You're making off like we've had a one night stand, Howell." He said cooly, quietly leaning against the wall next to the man who currently had pizza dangling from his lips. "Shit" he yelped, pizza slice dropping to the floor with a thud as his elbow hit the open door in retreat from the scare. "What's got you running away?" He asked earnestly now as dan edged towards the door. "I just I Uh- I Just should get going right it's late? You probably want to go to bed?" He lied, badly, the look of 'please believe me' was plastered across his face but Phil either ignored it was too gullible as he simply replied "oh" in a deflated tone. "I really can't or rather, shouldn't stay Phil. It's too imposing" Dan attempted to reason, car keys jingling in his hand. "No you really wouldn't be imposing honest please don't leave yet I just ordered dinner!" Phil protested, whining like a child and pointing to the quickly cooking carbohydrates on the table.

Whilst the oil did look appealing staining the wood of the the furnished apartment, so gross and disgusting yet appealing, he couldn't get PJ out his head. "Boyfriend" was the Word playing on repeat in particular. It wasn't like Dan was denying he felt feelings for people that weren't exactly what society wrongly assumed, it's just he didn't want to explore them. His sexuality had just sort of sat there since he was eighteen, like an instrument you could understand and play once but now you can't because time has changed and you just put off dealing with the item collecting dust. That was his sexuality right now, very much in a closet gathering dust. After years of repression he'd accepted liking guys, liking girls and guys, perhaps the want of other pronouns, liking more than one gender. It was all new and unexplored. He didn't deny it but he didn't want to shout about it either, especially as a teacher. His family didn't even know, let alone these new judgmental students. He had to get out of here, if he was seen driving to work with Phil tomorrow that would be the end of it. Might as well propose now and get it over with. "Dan Lester? Phil Howell? Philip Howell? Daniel Lester? Lestowell? Howlter- ok stop" he thought in his head, at least he hoped it was in his head. "I really can't stay Phil. I'm sorry" he repeated, softer this time, putting his arm through his other sleeve and lifting the soggy bag he carried over his shoulder. "Are you sure? Your bag is still wet and you need to plan things and pizza dan! Pizza! Also how am I getting to school tomorrow?" Phil asked, more pleading than anything.

Whilst Phil made a compelling argument and a compelling face to accompany it Dan, despite feeling guilt clasp his heart, knew he had to go. It was his first day at a new job, he didn't need to be overthinking potential extremely flirty exchanges between him and his fabled boyfriend. Not now, not in a weeks time or by Christmas. "Get back to me in the new year", he considered for a moment before returning to the task at hand. "Can you put my papers in a plastic bad? I'll take some pizza in tin foil or something if you have it. I'll wash your clothes for tomorrow, don't worry about mine being wet and I guess I'll walk and leave you the car" he shrugged, wincing at how nonchalant it sounded. "Oh yeah ok I guess that works" Phil shrugged back, pain pooling slightly in his eyes as he pulled away to dig through the cupboards to find a bag. His body looked like a bruised kitten shuffling across the floor, Dan felt guilty for the sudden mood change but he couldn't understand the mans reaction. This wasn't romeo and Juliet where the events of their lives happened within a play and three days, they had more time to get to know eachother and he certainly couldn't stay overnight on the first day of meeting. It would be too much. Even dan knew that, despite the setting guilt that knawed at him for causing phils floppy movements and the half-hearted handing of a bag of notes. "Are you sure-" he began again. "I really can't stay" Dan shook his head, fixing his hair and coat. "But baby it's cold outside" he felt Phil tug in his sleeve.