Consider it a Welcome

Chapter 13: You're Unbelievable

The evening had gone well, many friends episodes had played, many slices of pizza had been devoured and Dan had slept on the sofa whilst Phil was in his bed. It had been a decent nights sleep surprisingly, if you took out the equation the time he spent staring at the ceiling questioning his life decisions and the morning embarrassment he was yet to face at school. Dan was not an optimist, he often said if you convinced him into being one it would truly ruin his life, therefore he fully expected the worst to happen when he arrived at school in the same clothes he'd worn yesterday and in the car of another teacher. The phrase "walk of shame" came to mind. Despite this however it was not the thing he was considering the most whilst pulling on his crumpled shirt and tying his tie in front of Phil's cracked bathroom mirror, it was in the back of his mind sure but a conversation with Phil last night was the thing replaying in his brain.

"Dan why did you come back?" Phil had asked, scooping away their plates into his very overflowing dishwasher and clicking it on. "Because I didn't want to be responsible for a car theft" he had shrugged, it wasn't the truth but he very rarely admitted to things that pegged him as a romantic. "Oh right" Phil had muttered barely audible, he had then rejoined Dan on the sofa, pinned up against the opposite side of the furniture to Dan, unlike before when he had been practically glued to his side. A moment had passed in silence, the only sound the crowd laughing at some joke in the episode of friends they were watching, but Dan wasn't watching it and neither was Phil. Instead they were looking at eachother. "Why did you decide to come and find me?" Dan asked, looking Phil in the eye. "I didnt want my car stolen" Phil said flatly, breaking eye contact. "Ok bullshit you're a terrible liar" Dan had scoffed, turning away to the tv. Another moment passed. "Because I was lonely. I am lonely. I don't have friends Dan, I thought I might finally have that with you but I scared you off" Phil said quietly after a while. "You didn't scare me off" dan replied after taking in his answer. "I didn't?" Phil asked, blue eyes trained back on him. "No the pizza guy did" dan admitted earnestly, receiving a laugh from Phil which he didn't understand until he realised there was no context to that statement. At least not the context he understood. "Yeah it does sound pretty dumb doesn't it?" Dan had chuckled, looking at the man doubling over. "Yes. Yes it does" he had flashed a grin, sliding back along the sofa. "Phil" dan said softly. "Yeah?" He had replied. "I'm lonely too".

It was so cliche, he knew it, the entire evening had been but still his face burned as he recounted the conversation like it was a script he had memorised. He recounted it as he pulled on his creased jacket, he recounted it as he debated whether to just keep Phil's socks on and he recounted it as he gently swung open the bathroom door. It wasn't until Phil said "ready to go?", eager eyes and a smile spread across his features that dan stopped thinking it over. The two chatted all the way down the stairs, Phil greeted a neighbour with a smile as they clambered into the lift before they returned to their debate over the sentience of grass. "It's living! It follows all the processes! Movement, respiration, sensitivity to light, growth, reproduction, excretion and nutrition! It's alive" Phil argued. "Yes but being alive doesn't make you sentient. Sentience is the morals and the decisions, the consciousness. Grass, just like fire, doesn't choose to spread or reproduce or cause harm does it?" Dan quipped back. "Simple philosophy Lester, it trumps your biological logic with definitions" he shrugged, stepping out the lift and out onto the pavement ahead of Phil, car keys jingling in his hand again.

They talked as dan drove, not about anything in particular. Phil had made Dan swear he'd locked the door, promise he'd seen him do it and double promise again, then asked Dan if he had everything he came with whilst rattling of a list. Dan nodded, not listening and just assuming he had picked everything up, more focused on pulling onto the main road. The drive too school was much shorter in the daylight, without rain or motorcyclists crashing into you and Dan could now understand how Phil had managed to safely get to and from school so far despite his horrendous swerving and indicating. "We're nearly there" Phil said pointing to a sign that indicated Dan needed to turn right down a narrow street. "Oh uh ok, can I get out here?" Dan asked, slowing the accelerator. "Why?" Phil cocked his head, looking dan up and down in his crumpled clothes in genuine innocent confusion. "Oh ok you don't understand this do you?" Dan asked gesturing to himself. "I can get you an iron if that's what you-" Phil began. "No, god, right no" Dan chuckled, pulling a hard left into a car park space to enlighten the very confused face of Phil Lester. "If the kids see me in your car or getting out of your car in these crumpled clothes they're going to know I stayed at yours. These are the same clothes I wore yesterday. They're going to talk Phil" Dan explained. "Why is that a problem?" Phil asked, kindly waving to a small child who walked past. "Phil what the fuck" Dan cried shrinking down in the seat almost under the steering wheel. "What? What is wrong with you" Phil chuckled, waving at another two kids in uniform. "If they see me they're going to think we slept together. One night stand, walk of shame. Do you want that?!" Dan exclaimed, shrinking further under the wheel to the pedals. "Dan. Please get out from under the steering wheel you look mental and people can still see you" Phil said calmly, ignoring the question. Dan didn't move. He heard a whirring noise from Phil's side of the car, the manual crank of him rolling down the window. "Ey-up Dr Lester, what you doing in the chippy car park?" A very northern tone entered the car. "Morning Martyn, Just had to pull over for some car maintenance" Phil lied, more convincingly than last night. "Oh fair, but sir why are you in the passenger seat?" He asked again. Dans heart stopped. "Don't do it Lester I will murder you" Dan attempted to telepathically communicate. Alas it didn't work as the next words he heard from Phil's mouth were, "Mr Howell drove me to school today. I hurt my wrist last night" he said chirpily, making dan cringe immediately at the implications Phil had unintentionally made. "Where is mr Howell?" Martyn asked, suppressing a giggle that Dan understood too well. "Well Martyn he seems to be under the wheel fixing the issue with the car, I'm sure he'll be done soon. I'll see you in form" he heard Phil wind up the window again. "Dan get your ass out here" he hissed.

"You are unbelievable" Dan muttered, mouth agape and head shaking once he'd found himself back in his chair. "What? it was the truth, you are driving me because I hurt my wrist" Phil complained pointing to the badly bandaged wrist. "Yes Phil but you didn't give the context of the car crash" Dan said slowly, hoping the teacher would get the idea. "No I didn't, I didn't want him to worry. What does that have to do with anything?" He asked again. More students were staring at them now, Dan supposed they were quite loud and a bright horrible car didn't exactly blend in which forced him to realise time was wearing on and if he had just got out the car earlier this entire situation could've been avoided. "Phil. Seriously. Think about it, I'm driving you to work and your wrist is hurt. What would hurt your wrist that would involve me?" Dan asked simply, hoping to tease the concept out of him. "Punch you? I don't know dan this is hard come on!" Phil huffed, face twinging as he bent his wrist to cross his arms. "They're going to think you hurt your wrist...you know" dan motioned the crude actions, making Phil's face somehow turn even paler. "Shit." He breathed quietly. "Thank you dr Lester congratulations on being the last person to understand the horrible situation we now have to face. Good job genius" Dan couldn't help but laugh, the shock on Phil's face was priceless only cementing the fact they truly were in for a horrible day. As dan pulled out the car park and into school he could only turn to Phil and say one thing. "I bid you luck Dr Lester. We're all in this together".