Addiction

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human bodies

remember the infliction of pain

the memories, the injuries

the human body

has a fascinating way of making you live the moment

all over again.

i am addicted to voices inside of my head

telling me what I am worth

and what I am not

where I do, and do not belong

my body's barely leaning against a wall

feeling the grazes and dried up blood

tell stories of pain and conflict

reeking through its cracks

that risks its fall

but the wall stands tall, I

am the wall.

i wake up

to the same scars

to the same bumps on my skin

dried blood on my sheets and a "oops" i

did it again, well

we did it again, didn't we?

I return to my bathroom floor for the umpteenth time

In a span of a week, and fight the red stains off my sink

Until my tears clean my mistakes

from the nights before i disappeared

before I get the chance to

and i

used to beg the voices in my head to leave me alone

but now that they're gone

i am lonely

I have grown used to their company

to their echoes

feeding off my psyche

and i guess I am not really clean

since they're still using me

the human body registers the pain

what causes it

and how it feels

just not this time, i think it failed somehow

it only feels like reality

looks like reality

but isn't entirely real. 

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 29, 2020 ⏰

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