Put Me First

Chapter 2

Lauren
"... hello rashaud, it's me for the fucking third time .. you just left me without saying anything and i haven't heard from you today .. your starting to piss me off .. call me BACK"

I slam my iphone 6 on my dresser, almost forgetting I don't have a case on my phone! He pisses me off, always disappearing without saying anything! he can make me feel like the happiest woman in the world but in two seconds he can make me feel hopeless! But my phone rings .. it's not who i thought though ..

"HELLO" i said annoyed

"Damn, hi bitch"

"Sorry, Ashley, I'm just annoyed" I said while doing my hair.

"what did Rashaud do now?" It's a shame when most of the time when I'm mad it's because of Rashaud.

"I mean he disappeared on me while I was sleep and I haven't heard from him since. Im over that, if he's going to see his child, his punk ass could just say that"

"you forgot to mention he went to see Rachel"

"Please don't mention her name." I already know when he sees his son, he sees her too. Im just petty and prefer not to hear her name sometimes.

"Sorry boo, sometimes you need to be reminded that your not the only one he's fucking!"

"ASHLEY!"

"I love you Lauren, I just don't want you to get hurt like me because your settling! There's other niggas out there who would kill to have you!"

Ashely was involved with a married who had three kids. He loved her and kept telling her he would leave his wife for her but he never did. She got pregnant but when she told him .. he wasn't with it. He tried to pay her abortion but she didn't want to kill her child. He left her hopeless and told her he can't be involve because he has a family already. Ashely wanted a family - she didn't want to be a single mother and raise her child on her own so .. she got rid of the baby and now she regrets it. Her baby could of been 2 now. She changed and she hates how im still with Rashaud after everything he did to me. But he's doesn't want to leave me niether. He begs me every time!

"I love you to and I know your concern .. I understand you are BUT Im okay! Rashaud going to get his shit together .. we are going to live together .. be together .. im going to meet his son .. his son is going to LOVE ME .. we are going to get married and im going to have his babies! Ashely it has to work!! I love him too much!!" I looked in a mirror at myself .. watching a tear fall down from my eye. I have so much faith in us that it might kill me if we don't work out.

"Don't cry girl .. I know how much you love him, yall been through a lot. I just don't want you hurting more than your already are. I don't want him to hurt you more with that bitch! Don't lose yourself over him .. he's not worth it"

"Im not losing myself .. Im okay but I have to go"

"Call me later"

I hung up. Ashely is right .. I think I am losing myself slowly over Rashaud.

I got a text and it's from Rashaud.

"Im going to make it up to you later .. I got caught up with Rachel and her bullshit .. I know your mad but meet me at the house around 9. I love you Lauren"

He is out his mind thinking good dick is going to make me forgive him.

Later that night

I opened my door and candles was light EVERYWHERE. my house was filled with roses and little boxes more than likely full of gifts. I couldn't believe all this .. he left a note telling me to go upstairs .. I went upstairs and saw him in my room with champagne, strawberries and chocolate. I wanted to slap him but I couldn't .. the way he was staring me gave me chills.

"I missed you baby." He put the things down. He gave me a kiss while grabbing my behind.

"I missed you to but --" he covered my lips with his two fingers to shush me.

"I left you when I put you to bed to check on Rachel and our son. I ended up staying the night when she started to cry about us"

"you told her?" My eyes light up

"no Lauren but I will, it was the wrong time. I just wanted to spend time with my son without no fucking drama!"

"YOUR the one starting this bullshit. you always think we are okay .. confusing me while your inside me! stop playing me for her!!"

"IM NOT PLAYING YOU LAUREN!! I WANT YOU BUT I WILL RISK ANYTHING FOR MY SON AND IF THAT MEANS SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH MY BM JUST TO MAKE HER SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN I WILL"

"Rashaud, whatever because you don't fucking get it"

"man fuck you with your insecure ass! Im out!"

I grabbed him. I was mad but I didn't want him to leave me alone again.

"don't leave me Rashaud!"

"Lauren, your pissing me off! I know I fucked up that's why I did all this to make this up to you man"

"I know and Im sorry." I got on top of him and grind on him till I felt him hard.

"Stop Lauren." He said annoyed but wasn't trying to move me.

"I hate sharing all this with her."

"your not sharing nothing. I just have to deal with Rachel because she has my son."

"I love you."

"I love you too" he tries to get in control but ... I like being in control sometimes and tonight it's my turn!

"Let me please you, this time"

I can tell he's still mad at me so sucking his dick would shut him the hell up! He's the only man I ever did this to but I love him and I will do whatever to keep him pleased and happy. I took off his pants and got to work!

We are still in a funny place but making love to him is always amazing and I take FULL ADVANTAGE.