napkin notes || lashton hemwin

04

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Unedited.
Double update?!? WOAH WOAH

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Luke

Hands throbbing and small tears escaping his eyes Calum found Luke lying in his bedroom in the dark. Calum laid down next to him in attempt to comfort him. The two stared at the ceiling together for what felt like hours, Calum wondered why Luke was crying but didn't want to ask, and Luke wondered why he even felt sad but didn't want to tell Calum.

"Hey," Calum rolled on his side and his body began to touch Luke's.

Luke took a breath in and on the way out managed a tired, "hi."

"Why did you unwrap them?" Calum gently touched Luke's hurt hands.

"To get air." Simple worded answers were a speciality of Luke's.

"Do you need anything?"

"Well, I wanted to pee but I can't. Can you help me get my jeans off?" His voice was completely dry and he didn't want Calum to take it the wrong way, he wasn't in the mood.

"Yeah, sure. Stand up, bub."

Luke let out a soft whimper when Calum gently unbuttoned his jeans.

"Can you, uh, hold up your boxers? So they don't fall on me."

He did such and his jeans fell, "I'll get you a pair of sweatpants, try to go pee. Well, actually, try not to pee on your hands because you probably shouldn't wash them yet. I'll wrap 'em back up for you after the bathroom. Call to me if you need anything?"

Luke nodded and walked into the smaller room and Calum struggled to find a pair or lose fitting pants. "Gym shorts maybe? I said sweatpants though." The boy mumbled to himself.

Luke coughed in the doorway of the bathroom, "'m fine with the bathroom, anything to wear is cool."

After Luke finished his sentence a pair of baggy, grey sweatpants hit his face and fell to the floor. "That works but I can't get em on." Calum sighed and helped Luke into the pants.

"What's got cha down?" Calum smiled gently while getting Luke's wraps and putting them on once again to each had as the nurse did early in the day.

"Dunno, what time is it?"

"Like 7 I think," looking at the wounds reminded him of the day he caught the self inflicted ones on Luke's arms.

"It's still daylight?"

Calum nodded pretending to focus on the wraps but he was really looking deeper at the old scars. He leaned in closer and then pulled Luke's arm closer to face just to wrap his hands around them. "Sorry, I just never forgot these."

Luke nodded, "can we dance?"

"Dance? To what song?" Calum's eyebrow furrowed.

"We don't need one."

"If you say so." Calum grabbed both of Luke's wrapped up hands without hurting him to pull him into the middle of the room. The room had next to no light and what was there came from when Calum refused to shut the door all the way back. Luke started by hugging Calum mightily.

"I'm sorry I'm always so sad, I'm sorry you have to take care of me, and I'm sorry I don't talk."

"It's okay," they started taking small steps in each others arms, "it's okay, you're worth every bit of it."

"Whatever you say." Luke mumbled before accidentally stepping on Calum's feet. He blushed and let a small laugh lose. "I guess this is kind of awkward without music, ya know?" Luke pulled back a little to look at Calum's face in the dark. You couldn't see the color of anything, only outlines. Luke focused on Calum's outlines. Outlines of his big eyebrows, outlines of his eyelashes around his eye, outlines of the crinkles from his eyes when he smiles, outlines of his now, and of course the outline of his plump lips.

"Luke, what are you looking at?"

"Your outlines," Luke whispered and began leaning into his best friends lips. Luke wasn't able to process what he was doing, he just felt sad.

"Luke, I-"

Luke pulled away and began running away from Calum not able to know what he did completely just knowing that his closest friend rejected him. Luke felt guilt and the unwanted creep up his skin while he climbed into his car begin to leave his house with Calum behind. Luke didn't give another look in Cal's direction before heading down the road to his old house. The one where he lived with his happy mother and father before it all broke.

Tears dripped onto the sweatpants Calum put on him, his throat grew tight, and he was losing sight of the road before him.

Luke didn't see the road,

Luke didn't see the boy,

Luke didn't see Ashton Irwin,

In front of his car.

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Ashton

He had planned it all before and it was simple just go to the road in front of the house and wait until you see the perfect car and jump in front. A driver that wasn't paying attention, a driver that wouldn't care either. But he didn't want to let his mother to wonder where he went so he scribbled a simple note.

'Momma,

I loved you, I just couldn't love myself. x'

Ashton had stopped crying minutes before,

He knew this is what was meant for him,

He knew there wasn't another way.

His face was blank like when you daydream, only he was preparing for a permanent one.

His crept out of the house in the middle of the night leaving the note at his desk for his mother to find and he was ready.

The perfect car came, you could see that the driver was very out of it from a distance, though Ashton wasn't in for getting to know the driver.

A quick stand in front and they wouldn't see it coming.

A quick stand in the front and it was all over.

A quick stand in the front and Ashton hit the ground.

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QOTD: favorite color?

Mine is yellow,,

You are very beautiful, thank you for reading.
Updated: 6/15/15